Friday, March 7, 2014

How to Love the Unlovable

We all know someone who's "hard to love". They reject any overture made to become friendly. We all know someone who we work hard to be friends with, but come up short. Does that remove our obligation to love others? Let's look at the command to love:


Matthew 22:36 "Master, which is the great commandment in the law? 37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."

Let's look at what these passages really say:

1) Loving God is not optional. It is commanded! Loving God is a hard task to fulfill. It's not just an emotion. It's a duty.
2) Loving God is the most necessary of all the commandments because it comes first and is the greatest!
3) Loving God is with all your being. It's a love given with all that you have: man consists mind, body and spirit; clearly represented by mind, soul and heart. That's "agape" (spiritual love likened into the love of Christ).
4) The Old Testament (OT) Law (Ten Commandments are still effectual)
5) Jesus made commandments. Jesus validated the OT Law.
6) Jesus acknowledges that we love ourselves. This is accentuated by Ephesians 5:29 "For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church..."
7) We're to love our neighbor. Neighbor is anybody else. We're to love others. All others. Exceptions are not allowed! How about those who hate you?
8) We're to love our enemies: Matthew 5:44 "...I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you..."
9) Loving God and others is consistent with God's Law (The Ten Commandments and OT prophecy). There is not a new economy. God is consistent and unchanging. What God says in the OT applies today as far as his law! (Note that Mosaic Law and God's Law differ. God's Law is written in stone).
10) These two commandments summarize The Ten Commandments, God's Law. #1 You shall have no other Gods before me, #2 You shall not worship idols, #3 You shall not misuse the name of God and #4 Remember the Sabbath, to keep it holy are how to keep The Greatest Commandment; how to love God! And #5 Honor your father and mother, #6 You shall not murder, #7 You shall not commit adultery, #8 You shall not steal, #9 You shall not lie and #10 You shall not covet summarize how you demonstrate the love of others.
11) If any man doesn't love others he is in violation of The Greatest Commandment, loving God: 1 John 4:20 "If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?

What's been demonstrated using Jesus' Commandments? Loving others is as necessary as loving God! Where do Christians fail? We don't love others enough and that's a demonstration of how little we love God! It's easy to quit committing voluntary sins, but sins of omission are the most difficult. Therein, we all fail God! Oh, what are we to do?

What Jesus says about loving others is profound! Before we can commune with God we must clear our conscience with others:

Matthew 5:23 "Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee: 24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift."

So what's so profound about that? It's not that you have something against others, but that others may have something against you! You say "I've never wronged that man. Why would I have to make amends?" Jesus says that's of no consequence. The man has something against you! Before we can sacrifice to God we must make amends even where we have no amends to make. However, in many cases if a man holds a grudge against another, both have surely caused the grudge.

After writing this, I thought of three instances where people disliked me and made it obvious. Was I partly at fault? Likely, but I focused on the solution, not the problem. Jesus implies that I'm part of the problem. The first step is admitting that maybe, just maybe, I'm at fault too! That's important.

Although she stressed me out because of our contrast in personalities, it happened that Lisa's mother died unexpectedly. I prayed for Lisa and sent her a sympathy card. She sent me a "thank you" card in return and told me that I was the only co-worker who had offered condolences. Lisa became my friend and a strong ally!

I felt so good about settling things with Lisa, that I thought about Gerald. He told me outright "I hate you!". That's a tough one because in my pride I didn't understand how someone could hate Mr. Congeniality. It turns out that the Lord made me understand just that: I am not Mr. Congeniality! I'm Mr. Prideful. I went to Gerald and said "I think you're a good man and I want you to know that I have nothing against you." Gerald said "You're a good man too." and shook my hand! God can work within you if you allow it! I was jubilant because hard nose Gerald was now my friend! He remained so until I retired and lost contact.

Lastly, is Bob. We argued on every issue and conducted ourselves with belligerence. Bob said "I just don't like you!" I replied "What is it that you don't like, Bob, because I'm willing to change?" His response was "I don't know. You just need to change." Not knowing how, I just became more agreeable. That helped. Bob seemed to drop his animosity toward me because thereafter we ceased to feud.

I made efforts with all three and although I'm sure Bob still held something against me, I made the effort. Two out of three enemies, maybe three for three, were enemies, but now they were friends. I held nothing against them and maybe they no longer held anything against me. I was surely blessed!

Now, after writing this, I know of another who recently decided to hold something against me. I have struggled about making it right, but decided that I was not at fault. "Fault", according to Jesus, has no bearing on what I'm to do. I must make amends or I'm not right with Jesus. That's now on my "bucket list" and Jesus said to do this "first"; before I sacrifice to him. I don't believe I'm an acceptable sacrifice, because that's what Jesus is talking about, until I'm right with this person.

Romans 12:1 "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service."

Scripture teaches that sacrifices must be the most pure available. Never would the priest present a deformed or black lamb to God. It was to have no affliction and be as pure as possible. Jesus is more lenient with the living sacrifice. He knows our blemishes (sins) and accepts us as we are without being "good" before we come to him. Those who love God the most are those to whom he has forgiven the most! However, we have a "reasonable service" that when we remember Jesus, we are not to do it unworthily. 

1 Corinthians 11:27 "Wherefore whosoever shall eat this bread, and drink this cup of the Lord, unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord."

Partaking communion without first making things right with others makes people guilty. They don't deserve to partake of the elements which represent the body and blood of Jesus. The Eucharist is a chance to repent before we sacrifice; before we remember what Jesus did for us. 

Yes, we are to love the unlovable!  That's our duty! That's God's command which complements his greatest command. We love God by obedience. We show that we love God by loving others, even those who detest us through no fault of our own! Put loving ________ (your enemy's name) on your "bucket list" before you present yourself to God again. You'll be blessed! I know because I have been!

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