Friday, April 25, 2014

True Friends are a Godsend

Most people we know are acquaintances. We like them, but trust may not be there. That's the difference; trust. I rely on my friends for their integrity. Friends back you when you're right and chastise you when you're wrong. It's the spirit in which the rebuking is done that makes the difference. Friends don't have a mean spirit. They reproof out of love. Friends never assume, but have the courage and fortitude to believe in you. When they doubt they just ask. When the answer comes they accept. That's a friend. Furthermore, friends don't gossip or focus on flaws.

Enemies are those who pose as friends. On the surface, they've "got your back", but that trust is not there. They may even secretly have pleasure in your misfortune. Some false friends are there for you when you're in their presence, but abandon you when they are with another. These folks are fickle.  They are as bad as the person who has serial manipulative relationships!

Friends don't manipulate. Manipulators shrewdly and by cunning rearrange circumstances to suit their own motives. Manipulation is the most evil tool of false friends. Manipulators have as a friend themselves only. Their focus is on self.

For a relationship to work, both parties must be friends. Without trust the home becomes a house and the house shortly becomes a prison.  True love trusts. Infidelity is never considered because with true love it can never be consummated. That works for those not Christian, but Christians have another tool in their tool box. We have the Holy Spirit!

John 14:26 (ESV) "But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you."

The Holy Spirit is the Comforter sent by God to help us be righteous. He's there for us when we're by ourselves, our actions are between us and God only, and he guides us to do what is right. What is right? All that Jesus has said to me. All that he has said to you. Christians do what is right, not only because they love their friend, but because they listen to the Spirit. It's a question of "What would Jesus do?"  Christians who trust other Christians have the added security of knowing that the friend desires to do the will of God!

We're all tempted to do wrong. Sometimes we ignore the Spirit and serve our "Self" god. However, Christians are to value the will of Jesus and contemplate on the broken communion which sin causes. Breaking that relationship with God is why Christians don't steal, don't lie, don't curse, don't hate and so forth. A Christian's guidance by the Holy Spirit is why they make good reliable friends. I trust my Christian friends, not because they're perfect, but because they don't want to disappoint God!

Satan uses a lack of trust to put up relationship barriers. Secret worlds are created by those who fail to trust. We all do that. Those I fail to trust, I become slightly paranoid in our relationship. Paranoid relationships are unhealthy and Satan always destroys through paranoia. That's not a good thing!  Some get so paranoid that irrational thoughts become, not only surreal, but a false reality. As a rule of thumb trust those who you love. That's a sign of love!  Another rule of thumb is to not trust those who have no vested interest in your success in friendships.Never take the moral advise of non-Christians, even psychologists, or others who may want you to fail because they have failed so many times.

People are comfortable with like-minded people. Your friend may be your friend because you share character flaws, and if you don't have those flaws, and  if you listen to them, you soon will!  Losers desire you to be a loser so you can be just as they are!

Where does one get advise on friendships and trust? They learn to love and to be loved. You listen to the Holy Spirit whose there for that very purpose:

John 14:15-17 (ESV)  “If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you."

What are the commandments? Love God and love others! The Holy Spirit is there to help you do that. If you're a Christian the Holy Spirit is right there with you all the time. However, one must listen to him. His desire is that you love others. Be friends with others. Trust others!

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