Marie's modus operandi is her ability of insulting her friends while showing amelioration and gratitude. For instance when Marie says something to the effect "Deborah, you're so wise to let me teach you to cook because heaven knows that you need to!" That sends a positive message to Deborah while at the same time "cuts her legs" from under her. Deborah, as Marie smiles, is complimented "you're so wise" followed by destruction "heaven knows that you need to". This raises the question "Is Deborah being complimented or destroyed?" It's obvious that the compliment is a tactic to insult!
The sit-com could be more accurately called It's All About Marie! Yes, Marie truly loves Raymond and is genuine in her affection for him, but undermines others as she gloats over Raymond. Surely the creator of this show has insight by experience. We all know someone who uses shallow behavior to control others. Those who submit to controlling behavior either have unlimited self-control, care little for what others think or are so submissive that they become a door mat for others.
Rather than looking at the victim, let's examine the perpetrator. There are certain characteristics that identify them. I think often of how they stir their coffee. Most people just stir. Drops of coffee swirl over the side and the coffee, when finished, still has grains of coffee or creamer powder undissolved. They seem to pay little attention to the coffee, but focuses on the person talking.
On the other hand a disingenuous person stirs the coffee with full attention. They stir it fully focused and with diligence. Each granule gets dissolved and the finished coffee is homogeneous. There are no signs of spilled coffee and the white table cloth is unsoiled. The "stirring of the coffee" becomes a ritual. It's a sacrament because it must be done with perfection. The coffee becomes the object of affection and an idol. However, the idol represents a god. That god is the worship of "self".
It's important that the coffee not slurp over the side of the cup because if that happens the person is less than perfect. It's something they can't do well! A god who fails to be perfect is not the perfect god! Marie Barrone is the perfect god. She uses people who will bow at her feet and loves only those who adore her.
To be a god, it's necessary to have something to be god over. Without a world to control, being a god is an effort in futility! For Marie that world doesn't exist, so she creates an adoring world. However, she doesn't care if the the world truly holds her in high esteem, but that she's in charge. Some adore Marie, but it's a faux adoration. They wish they could be like Marie, but deeply inside they abhor this goddess of self-love.
The self-worshiping person may have a wide circle of friends, but the depth of the love is superficial. They love the "play", but despise the "play-write" so to speak. They love the outside, but despise the inside. It's obvious that Marie's family tolerate her because they just know "that's Marie" and Marie isn't about to change!
We all know people who are into self-absorption! God know their hearts! Little philio love resides in this type of person. They appease others to please themselves. Jesus called them vipers. There was a group of people who were so absorbed in self-love that they believed they could "save" themselves. They were the Pharisees and their god was themselves. God refers to this as pride! We all have a little of it because "no man hateth themself". However, in some there is an abundance of pride. They create their own little world in which they're in charge.
Romans 12:16( ESV) "Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight."In this little world are big problems! There is a lack of harmony. The prideful person's world is out of synchronization with those around. Marie is the wheel which get's the grease, but the "creak" is of her own making. The game she plays is for others to lubricate the wheel such that there is no dissonance. The sound she hears is perfect attenuation to what she desires. Harmony isn't there, but Marie isn't phased as long as there appears to be and her own little world remains intact!
In the world of Marie lives haughtiness. They are convinced beyond a doubt that they are most important and superior to others. Why should the god "self" be happy with others who are as powerful as she, when she can have all the glory for herself? The world of Marie is one in which she's not only goddess, but queen as well! Everyone else around are servants, not necessarily to do things for her, but to do things her way. Yes, she's "the way, the truth and the life"!
This world is one where the Marie associates with the lowly, but she's created a false class system. In her class all others are lowly because they don't share her knowledge and insight. They aren't as refined as she is and everyone isn't loved as she is! The people around Marie aren't truly lowly, but in her mind they are!
It's also a world where Marie is "wise in her own sight". It makes little difference that Marie has few credentials because things become the correct way merely because that's the way she does them! Never question Marie because she's got all the answers! She's not mean about making sure you know that, but she poisons the Kool-Aid (TM) as you drink it. Sometimes you may attempt to refuse the drink, but she smiles and encourages you through condemnation; disguised as flattery. It's a way to manipulate and manipulate she does. It's important that all believe and feel as she does or else she's not the perfect goddess!
I don't want to be in a world as that. I prefer my world! It's one where people don't like me just because I'm me and that's because I'm an imperfect human specimen. That's okay. I can handle not being the center of attention and wish that Everybody Loves Larry, but frankly, I don't deserve that strong an honor. I cherish those who do love me, but don't expect that everyone will. It's necessary to change those false worlds because world's collide. Deborah and Marie are always clashing. My preference is that my world becomes the world God desires. It's called righteousness. It's loving God by loving others although neither I nor others are perfect. That's God's world and not the one I want. I fight it everyday! However, that's the world God wants for us all. Whether we like the world of others or not is insignificant to God. It's whether we live in the world he likes. It's called "The Kingdom of God" and it's motto is:
"Be ye holy, for I am holy" (1 Peter 1:16).Marie needs a little dose of sanctification! She doesn't have to please us, but it sure will please God!
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