Sunday, May 21, 2017

Manners and Love

I am appalled. The most civil things a person can say is I'm sorry when wrong is done, and thank you when one is given something. The best presents that they can give are a grin, a hug, and I love you but few people do that! One can be the most intelligent and achieved person in the world, but without manners, they are barbarians.

Manners are spiritual as well. Everyone wants considerate attention. Manners are treating others as you want to be treated! That's the Golden Rule. What's more, there is enough love to go around for everybody. People never have to stay in their small little den with their pack. There is a big world out there. Staying in the comfort of those closest to you neglects those who are not as close but should be!

Blended families are the devil's delight: The dad pays the bills and the mother gets the hugs. The step-father receives the attention that rightfully belongs to the dad. When God said, "honor thy father and thy mother," he was talking legitimate fathers and mothers. Sure, we are to love step-parents, step-children, and foster parents, but not instead of our own parents! Imagine how a father feels getting little attention, and seeing a step-father idolized. God doesn't honor that. It's a sin and impolite as well! It's the ultimate in crisis for the parent for the love of a parent runs deeply.

My highest priority in life was my family. First, it was my own immediate family, then after that it was my parents. It was my mother who suffered pain and nourished me when she had little to offer, and it was my dad who worked so hard, and sacrificed time with his children. He was there the least but wanted to be more than anything.

The biggest sin in my life was dishonoring my own father. Honoring parents is the only command with a promise - long life. I once said, "I'll be glad when Dad is dead so that I can do what I want." I  actually said that one time. Now I say, "I would give anything if my Dad was still alive!" The first was a case of doing my own will, and the latter was doing God's will. It's not God's will for a child, regardless of age, to neglect the parents, and it is most usually the father in blended families which are neglected.

Parents want to love their children but children must allow themselves to be loved. I drove hundreds of miles regularly to spend even a limited time with my Dad and Mom. I have been blessed. My days are long, and I have no regrets. When Dad and Mom died, I didn't have to rush home to make amends at their deathbeds, because, as a mature person, I always honored them. I outgrew the selfishness of my youth, and loved Dad and Mom unconditionally.

We've just had Mother's Day. Most honored their mothers. Soon Father's Day will be upon us. Father's, real fathers, deserve attention, even adulation. That's what God wants, and that's just good manners!

Unfortunately, those who need to read this won't. They are into themselves and their own little world. They won't take time out to even reflect on themselves because life is all about them. Sure, they have the pretense of loving but it's selective love. What if God selectively loved? Most of us would be alienated!

I feel sorry for those who are so self-absorbed that they can't spare just  minute, and even of they do, it's at arms length. My own step-daughter offers me undue love, but it was never at the expense of her real father. It would have hurt me if she had given me more love than her own dad because I'm just her imitation dad. I love her, but that blood kinship is not there, and should be respected. God says so!

Before those parents and other die, it's never too late to start anew. Share a little of that love. That's just good manners but it's also what God commands! I feel bad seeing parents slighted by their children. It just ain't right, and God said so!

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