My guest writer today is Ignora Stonewaller. Let's give her a big hand right now for she deserves it." "Nora", what have you to say today?
I thank you Mr. Herrin, for allowing me to write my thoughts. Today my thoughts are on good parenting, and how where most parents go wrong.
For instance, "love" is never having to say you're sorry. I heard that on a movie one time so it must be true! My attributes were my hard-headiness and isolation from those who disagree - especially my parents. I'm proud that I never told them, "I'm sorry." That's a foolish thing to say because it's an admission of wrongness. I was never wrong, at least with my parents. They are dead and gone now, and there are many things I would do differently but I will never ever admit that I am wrong nor say I'm sorry! I resent my parents because their parenting skills were all wrong.
You see, my parents had many rules which I despised. They were stupid! They expected me to obey them without question, and even gave me chores to do. I deserved respect and they failed to respect me. For that, I will never say that I'm sorry because I'm not!
They had a curfew. I had to be inside by 11:00 p.m. I felt as if I was in jail. They said it was because they loved me, but they were just trying to deprive me of my rights. They were mean parents. They used the excuse that others had gotten in trouble in the late hours, but that was their choice. Mine was to do what I wanted to do. My parents put me in a sort of prison, and actually had the audacity to proclaim themselves good parents when they were mere wardens!
I was required to make my bed and clean my room. They not only had the narrow-mindedness to make those rules, but then they even criticized my performance. They sometimes made me stay home from the movies, and do things all over again - to do them right, they said. They were dictators and expected perfection. They said silly things such as, "If you do something, do it right the first time!" and added that, "It saves time." Just think of all the time that I lost because I had to do those silly things!
Dad always asked about my grades, as if he cared. If they were not up to his standards, he made me study harder. I was required to bring home my homework. My grades did improve, and he actually attributed it to his stupid rules. It was me that did it all but he took the credit.
I was not allowed to date until I was sixteen. All the other girls could. They made that rule to deprive me of fun. They insinuated that I might get pregnant by dating too young. That was an insult to my maturity, so I went as far as I could go in my own living room. I fooled Dad and Mom. I did what I wanted to do!
Mom caught me stealing a make-up kit one day at the store. She made me return it, and even apologize for stealing it. I did say, "I'm sorry" - the first time and last time that I ever did, but I didn't really mean it. It was just a compact. Big deal! But they acted as if it was a crime.
They even chose my friends for me as if I couldn't my own. They said that Enri Lucre was a bad person. They judged him just because he smoked marijuana and got drunk. He asked me to try those things too, but I knew that I'd get in trouble at home.
I resent my parents. They imprisoned me all my life, and expected me to say that I'm sorry for my attitude. Even in death I hate them. I would never treat my own kids that way! They even made me sit through evening bible study - at home, mind you, not even at church. They did demand that I go to church, and I hated it. My friends all got to go out and have fun.
Herrin: Nora, are you successful?
Nora: Oh, yes. I always did what my employer wanted, pleased them and got ahead. I owe them so much!
Herrin: Did you have premarital sex or an unplanned pregnancy?
Nora: Certainly not! I would have never done that.
Herrin: Did you ever suffer drug addiction?
Nora: That's an insult. Only those without self-control do those things.
Herrin: Do you believe in God?
Nora: I do, but not because my parents took me to church and read scripture. It just dawned on me one day that something was missing in my life. I turned to God in spite of my parents.
Herrin; So you are a Christian?
Nora: Of course. Isn't everyone in America?
Herrin: Do you love and respect your parents?
Nora: Why should I after all their provocation?
Herrin: Maybe you should re-read the Fifth Commandment.
Nora: Those no longer apply. I believe in grace.
Herrin: Perhaps you should have given your parents some grace. You are what you are because of them. You did good, so they must have done something right. Why would you hate the two who love you the most?