A man was having marital problems one time in particular. The psychologist told him that he should have "open communication" with his spouse. The man said "Here's what I'd say to her!" and then proceeded to elaborate on what the conversation would be. The psychologist promptly replied "Maybe you should just keep all that to yourself!" It was obvious that "open communication" is the answer when the conversation is constructive. Commitment is necessary for constructive conversations.
Commitment is a self-imposed obligation to making an action happen. For a marriage to work commitment is necessary. Commitment means that the activity is not to be taken lightly. Marriage is a picture of our relationship to God.
Isaiah 62:5 "For as a young man marrieth a virgin, so shall thy sons marry thee: and as the bridegroom rejoiceth over the bride, so shall thy God rejoice over thee."
In this passage the faithful are likened to the bride and God the bridegroom. That's a special relationship between mankind and God. Marriage is a metaphor for our relationship to God and our marriage is a holy union just as our marriage to God is holy communion!
Jesus likened himself to the bridegroom:
Matthew 9:15 "And Jesus said unto them, Can the children of the bridechamber (referring to himself)mourn, as long as the bridegroom is with them? but the days will come, when the bridegroom shall be taken from them, and then shall they fast."
Marriage is ordained by God. It takes commitment for a marriage to work. Likewise, it takes commitment for our marriage to Christ to work. It's an action of faith not to be taken frivolously! That commitment is called a "work of faith".
1 Thessalonians 1:3 "Remembering without ceasing your work of faith, and labour of love, and patience of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ, in the sight of God and our Father;"
Faith is something more than what you "have". It's also something you "do"! Faith is operationalized in "works". If you are a Christian you need to act like a Christian. "Acting" is not to be role-playing, but an action of sincerity. "Acting" in this context are "Christlike Actions", obeying his commandments; loving God and loving others!
The reason divorce is such a serious sin is because divorce is a rejection of commitment. Divorce in marriage, if easy, may make divorce from the Bridegroom just as casual. Infidelity in marriage is equivalent to apostasy within the Christian bond. Those with little commitment in marriage may have an equal non-commitment to God.
Now that it's obvious that "commitment" is necessary for "constructive communication", what is constructive? Criticism and negativity are not constructive. Let's look at marriage itself. If a woman tells a man that he's getting fat, that's criticism. Is it constructive? Likely not! A better method would be to say "Honey, I want to be with you for a long time and by not taking care of yourself, it makes me anxious for you." The latter statement expresses concern and love; the former merely saying "You no longer look as good to me."
In our relationship with the Bridegroom, the same applies. Rather than criticizing God for our problems, perhaps we should rejoice in our blessings!
Psalm 9:2 "I will be glad and rejoice in thee: I will sing praise to thy name, O thou most High."
Matthew 5:12 "Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven..."
The things of this world are temporary and in God's scheme of things, all are merely obstacles. Rather than complain about our sadness, sickness and feelings of loneliness, perhaps we should be happy that we're alive, clothed, well-fed and sheltered. Thank you God for providing for your bride in this heavenly marriage! Sick today? Be happy that you'll be well tomorrow or next week. Thank him for your health yesterday! Lonely? Be happy that you have even one friend. You do have a friend in Jesus. The fact that he's not in sight doesn't mean that you can't love the Bridegroom just as you love your own spouse when he or she is away.
Rejoice! That's "constructive communication". "Open communication" is the topic in a good marriage. With our spouse, it's necessary to talk about what's wrong, but most excellent to talk about what's right! Your spouse has positive aspects just as you do. Don't denigrate the spouse by complaining. Build-up, not tear down. Likewise, we should magnify the Bridegroom! We should spend time with open communication"! "Our Father, who art in heaven. Hallowed be thy name..." is where the bride openly communicates reverence for the Bridegroom!
If we don't openly communicate with God, is commitment lacking? Only you know the answer to that? Do you have fidelity with the Bridegroom or are you flirting with his adversary? Are you pleasuring in the gifts of the the love triangle or are you having mutual exclusive love of the Bridegroom?
If you're a Christian are there splinters in you "hiney" from sitting on the fence or do you have your feet on solid "committed" ground? The Bridegroom is jealous! (Exodus 20:5) "I the Lord thy God am a jealous God...". Who is God jealous of? "Other Gods". Christian, you are married to God! He expects fidelity. Never pleasure yourself with the charms of another. The bride that does that is an infidel.
In marriage triangulation is called "infidelity". In Marriage to Christ, triangulation is called syncretism. Here's what the Bridegroom says about that:
Deuteronomy 6:15 "(For the Lord thy God is a jealous God among you) lest the anger of the Lord thy God be kindled against thee, and destroy thee from off the face of the earth."
Infidelity in your Marriage to Christ is destructive! There are consequences. God will feel hurt. You will be destroyed. That's the covenant. That's God's commitment to you and he expects commitment from you! Just like a marriage! Openly communicate to Him that your desire is a loving marriage and one committed to last! God's plan for marriage is enduring. God's plan for Marriage to Christ is eternal!
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