Hit and Run advice

I seldom if ever confide in anyone; even a preacher. Why? We're all human and even well intentioned people seem to "just screw things up".  Advice from the ignorant is no better than no advice at all! Those who "help out" are just like bad drivers. They strike another and then go on their merry way as if nothing happened. They are oblivious to the damage they're doing.

When one is seeking advice from another, the person advising can be sure that they're hearing only page one of a two page story. The troubled person will always put themselves in a good light and the other in a poor light. That's human nature. When I hear some ones troubles I take it with the proverbial "grain of salt". Life has taught me to believe none of what I hear (gossip) and only half of what I see (supposition).

Why do marriage and family counselors insist on seeing all parties together? It's so the most fair version of the situation is revealed. There's no way to fix half the problem and let the other half continue. When world's collide, it takes two worlds. One world cannot collide against nothingness. Hence, both worlds need a equatorial adjustment to their latitude to keep volcanoes from continual eruption! That's the same as people. Unless both parties have their attitude adjusted, personality eruptions will continue to occur!

Their are many problems with psychotherapy, but the most catastrophic problem is that therapists are not held accountable for damage done; and they're supposed to be professionals! Those with no training at all can cause even worse damage!  Some will criticize how you raise your children, but fail to see the rebellion in their own. No one needs psychological advise from those whose life is far from unflawed. It would seem that those who are ready to give advise may be the ones who need it most. Those with dysfunctional families will try to fix your healthy family using voodoo psychology. Those with bad marriages will "fix" yours by hurting yours the same way they have hurt their own!

All advice is not good. Advice is confounded by inexperience, lack of knowledge, jealousy, unrighteousness, prejudice and those just out to make trouble. It's not new! It's always been around:

2 Samuel 17:6 "When Hushai came to him, Absalom said, “Ahithophel has given this advice. Should we do what he says? If not, give us your opinion.” 7 Hushai replied to Absalom, “The advice Ahithophel has given is not good this time."

 

"When Henry came to him, Joe said, “Linda has given this advice. Should we do what she says? If not, give us your opinion.” 7 Henry replied to Joe, “The advice Linda has given is not good this time."

 

When someone asks for advise, you can be sure that you're not getting a complete picture. Tell the person "It's unfair to (whomever) to discuss this when not in their presence. I have nothing to advise."

 

Matthew 7:12 (NIV) " So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you..."

 

That's only fair! That's applying wisdom.

 

Meddling can ruin others. Gossip can destroy what took years to accomplish. Neither of those are victimless sins.  What's more those who take their problems to meddlers and gossipers can expect nothing other than destruction. On that anyone can count!

 

Proverbs 16:28  (NIV) "A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends."

 

One of the best rules of thumb ever is "never say anything behind a person's back". If it's negative, it's destructive. If it's a compliment that compliment needs to be delivered first hand!  We've all played the "telephone game" where there's a large line of people. The first person says a sentence and after it has went through the entire line of people whispering the message to the next, the original message has been distorted beyond belief. That's the way gossip and meddling works. It's unfair to talk behind a person's back for any reason, let alone giving advise based on hearsay!

 

1 Timothy 5:13 (NIV) " Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to."

 

Come on now people. Get a life! Quit interfering in the lives of others. Let God do the judging and you do the changing. A casual comment made in derision can poison the life of another. What is "good" can be destroyed by the lips of busybodies! It takes years for a person to develop a reputation of trust and honesty, but a casual word by a gossip-monger can totally destroy what God honors and what others worked for.