.
From “about.com: marriage”:
<quote>
A 1996 Promise Keepers survey at one of their stadium events revealed that over 50% of the men in attendance were involved with pornography within one week of attending the event.
.
51% of pastors say cyber-porn is a possible temptation. 37% say it is a current struggle (Christianity Today, Leadership Survey, 12/2001).
.
Over half of evangelical pastors admit viewing pornography last year.
<unquote>
.
These statistics tell us that 50% of Christian men who self-report admit to having a problem with the sin of salaciousness (active sexual desire). We can be assured that many more are probably not being honest with themselves or fear discovery in reporting. As we can see, our biblical Christian mentors have the same problem the layman has! No one's immune to the treachery of Satan who knows man's “thorn in our sides”. Whereas God gave us sexual desires to multiply the earth and to have unity with our wives, Satan turns the gift of God into a curse of mankind. He can only create lust (temptation). We commit the sin!
.
Although women have the same desires as do men, it is believed that men have a broader issue with visual desires than do women (Yes, God made us different). Whereas, men “like to look”, women fantasize on the romantic side of a possible relationship. Women are emotional about the issue and men are non-emotional. Women prefer relationships and men prefer variety. However, with the onset of “equal rights” women have joined the men in the alley of sexual prowess. They have become sexual aggressors and not just victims of men's aggression. Yes, things have changed, but the sins of today are the same sins of old. Solomon said “There is nothing new under the sun”!
.
Women's roles in the “sexual revolution” came with the onset of “artificial birth control” the wicked woman, Margaret Sanger's, contribution to an already decadent society. According to her biographer, Sanger had an open marriage and was sexually promiscuous. She and her husband signed a pre-nuptial agreement that allowed her to have sexual relationships. What's more this bigoted woman found another use for birth-control: to control the birth rate of “undesirables”! Her people distributed birth control to southern blacks at their tent revivals. Feminists now hail Sanger as an honored pioneer in the sexual liberation of women! They are free to have sex without the fear of pregnancy or if that fails, by law, they can teminate what God created.
.
However, I'll focus on man's part. Whereas, a woman is to be chaste and modest so as not to stir men's passions, men have a responsibility for self-control.
.
Here's advice for the women:
.
1 Timothy (KJV) 2:9 “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;”
.
I'll be blunt! Christian women shouldn't look like street tramps, what we once called Jezebels (a seductress). That means no low cut tops exposing cleavage, no short skirts, and no “barely there” swim suits. It also means simplicity in jewelry and plain dress. A woman is beautiful without the ornamentation. Jewelry, when worn, shouldn't be extravagant. Along with apparel comes guidelines on behavior. A woman should be without “shamefacedness”, or behaving in a way which brings dishonor! “Sobriety” not only means that women must have an appropriate non-flirtatious disposition, but also to not act like a drunken woman! (Yes, alcohol and drugs are a guilt inhibitor. You'll do things inebriated which you'd never do sober!). The Old Testament specifically bans tattoos and body piercings because that's what the pagans do.
.
Now for the men:
.
Although women must exhibit self-control, men are especially called to do so. This verse applies to both sexes and it is referring to sexual relationship between man and wife!
.
1 Corinthians (NIV) 7:5 “Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
.
If you enjoy sexual relations of the marital bed you won't be tempted as greatly. You'll have more self-control. Sex is for the spouse, otherwise it's called infidelity. We are all called to control our OWN sexual drive and impulses. James tells us how!
.
James (NIV) 4:7 “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
.
If you submit yourself to the will of God you've made a commitment to do it God's way. In doing so God will help you to resist the temptation which is of the Devil. By submitting to God, he'll give you spiritual armor to shield and protect you from the evil-one. Once you're armed by God, you're a Christian soldier, divinely protected. You're part of God's army and as such the devil flees in terror because the devil knows the power of God!
.
Titus (NIV) 2:6 “Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled.”
.
Just like the women have responsibilities, likewise so do the men! We must be self-controlled. That means “fleeing” from the temptations brought to you by your friendly devil ...Yes, he supplies your every lascivious desire! All you have to do is take it.
.
Here are things you can do to help:
.
- Read your Bible daily. (God's Word will shield you from temptation).
- Repent of previous sexual sins … no all sins!
- Pray for deliverance from temptation.
- Flee from temptation:
- Have you computer in a public room. Have your Bible right next to the computer.
- Use “PG” filters even for yourself!
- Don't click on anything glamorous. Even benign clicks can quickly take you to pornography. I once clicked on Christina Ricci's photo whose name had been implanted in porno sites and got the worst of the worst. (Don't click on those or anything. Turn your computer off or you'll get the site anyhow).
- Keep a photo of your parents, family and children in sight. Don't disappoint them!
- Resist watching sexually oriented TV programs. Get rid of sex-laden higher channels. When the spouse goes to bed, go to bed with her. Don't watch solo television. (If a TV show is sexual in nature, I change immediately. I don't wait for the “hope” that it'll get cleaner. It won't happen).
- Don't use any pay movie channels. Once you start watching movies, exploration is inevitable! (Sin is subtle and exponential.)
- Select older movies when sex wasn't blatant. That's a compromise, but you might even find something which really entertains!
- Never subscribe to entertainment magazines. You won't find much in there which would be of interest to a Christian. For women romance magazines are a lure and destructive. You're hard-working husband can never measure up to an imaginary romantic. Cut him some slack. He's working for you!
- Quit lingering at the magazine section in stores. It's tempting, it seems, to leer longer at the one's exposing the body. (Flee from sin!)
- Select family-oriented places for fun. Use family beaches, no bars, no raw comedy shows. Hike, boat, ski, run, walk, bird-watch. Do things where sex isn't part of the fun.
- Don't linger on others of the opposite sex. The attention you are giving them belongs to your spouse. Save your compliments for your other half!
- Do have romantic sexual activities with your own spouse. Women, look seductive in the privacy of your own bedroom and keep it in there. Men are visually stimulated and we would love for our wives to be there for us. If you're not there, the devil may introduce another. Men, bathe and cleanup so as to be presentable to your wives. Groom well and brush. Have impeccable hygiene. Compliment your wife. Yes, she can be beautiful to you if you quit comparing her to a run-way model. Wives, you do the same.
- Read your bibles together. Discuss what the Bible says about marriage, modesty, self-control, behavior and the goodness of authorized sex. Pray together.
- Communicate needs to the other. Men, women do want romance. Women, tell them what you expect in terms of romance. Men, cut the gross conduct. Flatulation, belching, scratching and bad-breath aren't romantic. Likewise, if you women do that!
- Endear your spouse as a precious commodity. They are not just housekeepers nor ATM machines. Thank each other for what they provide. Men are hurt when they work hard and get very little attention in return! Yes, we have feelings too. Men compliment your wife in what they are proud of! Never belittle them.
- Do things together! Take time to make the other feel loved. Tell each other what they mean to you and a few sincere “I love you's” never hurt a thing.
- Make concessions. No petty arguments. Back off your position sometimes for the sake of peace. Quit being so full of pride! A marriage is unity. Act in unison. Quit dividing the marriage through self-interests.
- Money is a divider, or I should say bills are! Quit spending so much on luxuries. Spending money you don't have leads to stress and stress interferes with sexual desire. (They say that folks like the Mennonites have the greatest sex lives because money and stress are non-players)!
- Faith, purity, worship, economy, simplicity, public modesty, pure behavior and self-control all are aspects of holiness. Those who are holy have less guilt. Guilt is a sex-quencher. It's hard to be libidious when you have the mental pressure of disobedience.
- Contrary to the movie “Love Story” love is having to say you're sorry. So many marriages are ruined because we're all wrong, but aren't humble enough to cave. Yes, when you're wrong say “I'm sorry!” and mean it. Sometimes, you can even say you're sorry for making a contentious issue out of something even when you're right!
- Be Christ-centered in all things. A clear conscious induces godly behavior.
- And as my pastor said “Never utter the word 'divorce'!” It's not even a choice!
I have short-comings in some of these areas as I'm sure we all do. Some different than others. The next step for me is to make a change. I can improve where I'm short and cease where I need to desist. You need to do likewise.
.
I once asked my own strongly Christian father when these feelings go away and he said “Never!” You're never too old to be tempted. Dad did things to ward off the tempter. He fled from sin! He was even careful to not even hug any woman besides his own wife! Dad, not only is being rewarded in heaven, but was rewarded with a faithful wife. I admire Dad. He wasn't always that way because we each have a “past”. However, the Bible tells us to put the past behind us and live for tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day. Let's do what's right!
No comments:
Post a Comment