Our Attitudes

Each one of us have our own personality. The personality can be viewed as a “system” in our body. By that I mean like our other systems: respiratory, circulatory , etc. the personality is started at conception and grows in proportion to the other systems. One doesn't “all of a sudden” develop a personality at birth. It has been growing for nine-months! The personality of the individual, to be normal, must grow in proportion to the other systems. The fully-developed personality is just as important to the health of the individual as are the other systems. However, there is one big difference.

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Our environment may effect the health of our heart, lungs and kidneys by causing improper functioning and even disease. The personality is not so much altered by our interaction with nature, but with our fellow man. We must have contact with our fellow humans in order to develop the personality. It will be most responsive to those who influence us the earliest and for the most time. Often our early development is most influenced by our parents. Over the years, yes, I have turned into my own father!

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Some parents start talking to their young while they're gestating. Devices with soothing sounds are used to keep the in utero baby pacified. Some parents use tapes of their own voices to teach and comfort their unborn children. Their hearing is developed and they do respond to sound and words. Likewise, the stroke of the mothers-to-be abdomen actually placates a restless baby! It's so important that parents do their job in molding the personality of their children! If we don't others will.

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Exodus 20:12 “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”

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The child is to, and will, listen to their parents if they are brought up that way commencing at birth. A parent can't commence to teach and mentor the child when they're teens. It's too late by then. Respect is taught to the young, but at the same time respect is earned. A poor parent can hardly expect respect! At this time of year we're tempted and err in teaching our children poor attitudes. They EXPECT things and parents OBLIGE by spending, much like they're trying to buy their love. Although the motive is noble, the results stink! If you really want to help your child's development. Make them earn what they are given.

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Ephesians 6:4 “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

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This verse shows that we must nurture the child. Nurturing is providing for their sustenance and part of that means loving your child. If we love someone we put them before people or things less deserving: friends, jobs, education, sports and so forth. Another part of providing sustenance is talking with, showing an interest in, befriending and disciplining them. We often fall short on the discipline because, frankly, that's not the fun part! In fact a rebellious child is often punished by isolation. To avoid confrontation the parents puts up a wall between them. Love is absent as well as much needed correct discipline.

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In disciplining we must be fair. Applying the “Golden Rule” is the best approach. You know how to be treated because that's how you want to be treated! Reciprocate. Often the parents provide punishment disproportionate to the “crime”. You can never “ground” a child for a month or a year because they will never get “ungrounded”. They must have hope for redemption and without that hope they are even more rebellious. When spanking, it doesn't have to hurt; only humiliate. That works!

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Your own personality, like a mirror, is most often reflected in your child.

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Exodus 34:7 “Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children's children, unto the third and to the fourth generation.”

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What we do and how we behave can not only contribute to the life of our own children, but can be clearly seen to be passed from generation to generation. If you're not a “saved” Christian parent with a proper attitude, then it is most likely that your children and grandchildren will behave in much the same way. We don't pass sin from generation to generation, but they suffer the consequences of your behavior and attitude.

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Personality is a pattern of all your combined traits relating to behavior, temperament, emotion and mental activities. It's you! The good, the bad and the ugly. A Christian can and will change their personality. The bad will be tempered by the Holy Spirit residing in you. You will become a new person! We are to be Christlike!

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Romans 15:4 “For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope. 5Now the God of patience and consolation grant you to be likeminded one toward another according to Christ Jesus: 6That ye may with one mind and one mouth glorify God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

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These verses are just like a re-phrasing of the “Greatest Commandment” (love God and love your neighbor). As a born-again Christian we're supposed to be “born-again” We are to be a new man in Christ! We are to strive (be like-minded) with each other and that like-mindedness would be with a Christlike attitude! Attitude is how you carry yourself; how you come across to others. What is your attitude?

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As Christians we often think that our Christianity is measured by what physical sins we have given up. “I quit smoking, drinking, cursing, fighting, stealing, doping or whatever.” That's not how you measure your change! You cannot be assured of your salvation until you love more. You (and I) need to change your attitude!

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My mantra at one time was “I don't get mad... I get even!” No, I didn't say it out loud, but that was my attitude. It's an attitude of anger and vengeance. God hates that more than my outward law-breaking that's for certain. Yes, I needed to change... and still do! We're never a finished work!

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I've had Christians shun me, hold a grudge against me, be argumentative, make no attempt to provide friendship and even avoid talking with me. All these “attitudes” are childish and sinful! It's not a compliment to be called “grumpy” and “quirky”! It isn't a good attitude to be argumentative and confrontational. It's not a good attitude to avoid those you have pre-determined not to like as friends. Some of my best friends I have today are those who I disliked at first. God changes hearts! The compliment is to be known as “loving”, “friendly”, “empathetic” and “helpful”. It seems like things Jesus was known for, does it not?

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Christ expects a changed heart!

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2 Corinthians 4:6 “For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.”

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Is Jesus reflected in your attitude? Is Jesus in your heart? If you have seen the glory of God through the grace of Christ, let God shine in your heart! Don't hold on to that old wicked personality inherited from your parents all the way from Adam down. Let Christ do a work in you! Let the attitude of Jesus be reflected in your own attitude. He's your Father now! Let go of that attitude that separates. Let's all love each other as Jesus loved us.