My parents, especially Mom, always warned me that I'd better be good because at twelve years old I became accountable to God. That's not Scriptural, but is a remnant of Judaism carried over into Christianity. Yes, I had to know right from wrong, but there's nothing special about being twelve! However, I accepted her twelve years as an opporunity to be bad for many more years to come. I remember stealing when I was around ten and thinking "I sure am glad I'm not twelve yet or I'd go to Hell!"
Christians believe that children are loved by God because of their innocence.
Matthew 18:2-4 (NIV) 2 "He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. 3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."
Children have simple beliefs. Their thoughts are not complicated. We too are to accept God on His simple terms. You believe in him with a loving belief. There's nothing complicated in that! Children accept him because they're not confused by false knowledge and heretical interpretation of God's Word. Then comes education! Your child begins to learn things from outside the sphere of Scripture. They begin to associate with older boys and girls who have already tasted worldly pleasures! Innocent children become rebellious!
My fight started at about fourteen. The church I had been attending "saved me" by teaching me a catechism class. The minister announced that I got an "A", hence was now eligible for church membership. No one even asked if I believed in Jesus, let alone if I had committed my life to him! I attended church because all my friends did. Dad worked many hours and second shift so I chose my own church. However, something was missing from this "conversion", mainly everything. The only thing different is that I got an "A". I wasn't proud of the "A" nor my false security.
My next mistake was changing churches! (sic). My fight with God was initiated! This denomination taught repentance and salvation by belief in Jesus and the effaceable sacrifice of his own blood to pay the penalty for my sins. Here is where the battle began! God's Holy Spirit began to work on me. He called me to repentance:
2 Timothy 1:9 (KJV) "Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began, "
Yes, me a sinner. Jesus died for me, and God called me to repentance, yet I, though not rejecting his sacrifice, thought it more pleasurable to continue in sin than to submit. I fought God! I wasn't the first! Jacob (later Israel) wrestled with God:
Gen 32:24 "So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 28b because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.” 30b “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”
Who won this fight? Was it Jacob or was it the Angel of God (Jesus)? The man God could not overpower Jacob. Jacob was physically stronger! However, Jacob was permanently afflicted by the power of God who used His omnipotence to dislocate Jacob's hip. Jacob realized that God had just been playing with him because he said "my life was spared?.
God won! Jacob fought God and God won!
Likewise, I wrestled with God. I wanted to continue as a sinner, yet be a child of God. You can't be both!
1 John 3:9 (KJV) "Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God."
Yes, born again Christians do sin, but it's covered by the blood! However, Christians must be cautious about devoting their life to sin because at some point in time Jesus loses his favor and becomes trivial. Salvation is by faith! Faith is not a one-time event, but a lifetime commitment. Faith for five minutes to walk to the altar does not constitute a person dedicated to Christ. We must be Christlike, even though we fail!
In my wrestling match with God, I thought "When I get good enough I will be acceptable to Jesus!". That thought is the very reason Jesus died for me. I can never be that good. He wants me right now and just as bad as I've always been. It took me awhile to realize that "grace" was my dislocated hip. I got to overcome although I certainly don't deserve it! Jesus spared me in my sin just as he had Jacob.
As a sinner who wrestled God I held onto the pew in front of me at each altar call. Jesus pulled out all the stops to win the wrestling match. The song Just As I Am tugged at my heartstrings, I removed my hands from it's death grip on the pew in front of me, and reached for Jesus by praying at the altar.
The battle had just begun! With Satan's urging, I fought Jesus all the way! It took me several trips to the altar because I was so strong-willed. After awhile, I submitted. Grace had defeated my will! Yes, I desire Jesus in my life, I am a crummy sinner, I deserve death, but I want your grace, Jesus.
I fought God, and God won!
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