One person I know is a Christian and his disposition is much like that. By "coincidence" (You think?) his nicknmae is "Grumpy". Being a Christian with that nickname is an oxymoron to be sure. How does a grumpy Christian live with himself?
Cranky and Grumpy are children of "Anger" and her husband "Rebellion"! Those who are negative in their life fail to brighten the lives of others.
Some people just can't seem to be content unless they are hostile to another! It doesn't take an argument to get the disagreeable person going. They just may not be pleased with a factual statement. They may even snarl at the other "You're being hurtful!". They accuse others of being what they themselves are. It's a defense mechanism for their own negative behavior.
Some people are just moody. Others even take pride in being disgruntled. A woman with whom I worked had a sign which said "Zero to Bitch in 60 Seconds!" That's nothing to brag about!
A form of torture is dripping water. Although one or a few drops in the face is forgettable, even pleasant, continuous drops of water for hours or days will drive a person insane! Although this passage speaks of a woman, it works both ways:
Proverbs 27:15 "A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike."
That's torture! A "contentious" individual is a quarrelsome person. They are disagreeable and confrontational. It's as if their modus operandi is to make others unhappy! If that's not their goal, then they're over-achievers!
Some are married to that type of personality:
Proverbs 21:19 "It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman."
That pithy remark applies to men too! Some men are angry by nature. Women tend to respond to anger with cutting remarks; men with outbursts of violent words or physical emotion. Sometimes cutting remarks hurt the most! An unknown philosopher once said "The tongue is like a sharp knife, it kills without drawing blood.". Many are bleeding. It's emotional blood! The dripping of emotional blood can be felt in the pit of the stomach. It burns as each drop plunges against weakened membrane. Finally, emotional blood creates an open wound and ulcerates.
A Christian person with whom I was working had previously built an object. It was for use by others and due to his sloppy workmanship, it was dangerous to the lady using it. She asked me to help her with the safety problem. I made do with what I had and temporarily made it useable, but not safe. The grumpy person beside me said "If you can't do something right the first time don't do it at all. If she gets injured the fault is on you!" I was astounded! Grumpy had built the unsafe object and he hadn't done it right the first time! How can a rational person argue with such irrational behavior? It can't be done!
There's another "tool" in the toolbox of the contentious. It's slick, even magical, how it's done! "Sane- One" will say something factual and without emotion. Cranky person will respond with an opposing argument. When the Sane-One moots the point of Cranky, then Cranky shifts the argument ever so slightly. As the disagreement ensues, Cranky keeps moving the argument. When Cranky's argument is the same as Sane-Ones, Cranky says "See I was right all along!", although Cranky was never right, and was unyielding to fact! Cranky's and Grump's are never wrong although highly opinionated. Since they're never wrong, they never say "I'm sorry!"
We all know people who either don't know what "sorry" means or can't use it in a sentence. Kids can at least yell derisively "Sorry!", but that's the extent of their sorrow. Sorrow is an emotional condition. Contentious people have but one emotion... anger! They appear to be angry at the world, but most often they are angry with people they're supposed to love: spouses, children, parents, friends, and even pets! Contentious people often get along with acquaintances because no envy nor sources of irritation have yet to be manifested. "Love" IS "Having to say you're sorry!"
Contentious people have a spiritual problem.
Romans 2:9 "But unto them that are contentious, and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, indignation and wrath, 9 Tribulation and anguish, upon every soul of man that doeth evil...
Grumpy and Cranky are contentious. Scripture says that they "do not obey truth". They are unrighteous! Why are Grumpy and Cranky unrighteous? Can we all agree that Cranky and Grumpy, children of Anger and Rebellion, were brought up in an environment of hate? Their attitudes witness to their heart:
1 John 4:8 :He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love."
Contentious people are not loving people! Ameliorating people love others. Loving people do not antagonize and provoke those they love. Anger's blood has passed into the bloodstream of Cranky and Grumpy. Rebellion taught Cranky and Grumpy provocation. I believe that those who love God can't hate others so badly they try to make their neigbors miserable.
Along with loving God, we're told in (Mark 12:31 "...Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." "Neighbour" is a general term for "others". The truth is that we are to love others. By not loving others and treating them how we each desire to be treated, is unrighteous. Loving people demonstrates righteousness.
Some people's disposition is to be contentious. As a "new person" in Christ, they need to bury that "old person". The first thing a born-again person should do is love God and love others. Grumpy Christians are uncharacteristic of saved persons!
Other people may have hormonal inbalances for some reason or another. Bi-polar people are contentious at times, as well as menopausal women and those who have undergone certain surgical procedures. People get contentious when they continually fail in life. Others because love-lifes are less than desirable. Others were just dealt a bad hand when they were born.
Regardless of why people are contentious, it's not God's will. They are to seek change. Change may be spiritual renewal, biblical counseling or at times hormonal or medicinal treatment.
Many who are of a contentious disposition often fail to recognize their own emotional state, but if others are alienated from you, the shoe fits. Most rational people avoid those irrational. We all seek people with whom we're comfortable. Contentious people make others not only uncomfortable, but really stressed.
As in all things, God is the answer! We are to humble ourselves and call on God:
Micah 6:8 "He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?"
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