I've noticed a profound indifference in attitude when people are given sound advice! It's as if individuals take actions or behave in manners which they know are detrimental. Why? I've always looked up to people more mature than myself, more studied than I am and with more education than what I have. Many times the self-made wealthy man or woman offers sound advice! Yet, people are stuck in their defensive attitudes.
Proverbs 11:14 (ESV) "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety."
People fail without guidance and when proper counsel is available there is safety! Simply said, "It's wise to take advise!" This notion is supported by:
Proverbs 19:20 ( ESV) "Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future."
Some people "listen" to advise, but that's only half the story. One should "accept instruction". Why? "That you may gain wisdom!" People just fail to accept bonafide proven instruction! Their pride gets in the way. It's their way or no way!
I've often heard it said "I failed with my children because they weren't born with an instruction manual!". Wrong, I'm sure you had the "instruction book", maybe even read it, but you failed to accept it! I'm speaking of God's instruction to mankind; The Holy Bible. It was there all the time and if people read and ACCEPTED it, then they had that instruction manual:
Proverbs 22:6 ( ESV) "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."
Yes, the Bible gives good advice. We're to listen, accept and implement. By implementation I mean that we should put wise advice into practical use! Pride is the roadblock. Pride is less valuable than having children who are selfish, materialistic, narcissistic, unmotivated, and disrespectful. Sure, we want our children to have what we never had, but we somehow made it, even succeeded.
I counseled a young married couple in particular. They came to my house with a marital problem. They both listened attentively, agreed with what I was saying (accepted), but failed to implement the advice given, even after saying it was a good route to a healed marriage. The husband had been in a computer romance using the computer at the library. My advise was that he no longer go to the library to use the computer. What did his wife do? She bought a computer for home use! She not only failed to implement, but did the exact wrong which was causing the problem. Needless to say, they are no longer married!
I was the one offering advise. Just being factual: I am older and hopefully more wise than they, I had experienced marriage and child-rearing for many years, I had studied God's word for years, I had years of business experience, an undergraduate degree and a graduate degree, the latter focusing on "Family Counseling". With all that, my perception, based on their actions, was that I was also much smarter than them. They had the basic education, menial jobs and little experience. That doesn't correlate to their worth at all, but they were in dire need of guidance and wise instruction. I took my time out several evenings, but they did it "their way"!
When raising my oldest child I was a child myself. I was young! I failed miserably because I was too busy working to provide. I just didn't take the time. The Holy Spirit led me to follow scripture and to take the time, but I was just too busy (so I thought). I asked no one for advise nor did I receive much. On all appearances I was doing the right thing. I loved him, took him to church three times a week and played with him. However, I did so many things wrong. Foremost among them, I failed to be the leader of the home! I allowed, even expected my wife (I was married before) to do the discipline and raise the kids. I was just the provider.
She failed to use the instruction manual too! When I tried to be the leader of the family, it was a tough battle. Consequently, I bowed out, shirked my responsibilities and let her do it "her way". She loved her childen and attempted to gain their love by buying things for them. Mostly it was brand-name clothes, bicycles, toys, and things to amuse them. My son had so many toys he didn't know which one to play with! All those toys failed to keep him occupied! He sought attention from wherever he could find it! He was an excellent son and still is, but his confused upbringing made him turn to marijuana for solace. I blame myself, although I made an atempt, it was feeble at most. I should have taken the lead in raising my children. That's my duty. Sure the mother is to do her part, but the father is the leader of the household.
When I tried to offer advice it wasn't accepted. I learned that if I kept quiet at least I had peace! Peace at the expense of failure is stupidity. I mentioned earlier that I was smarter than the young marrieds. That came with time. I learned by mistakes, but if one listens to, accepts and implements wise counsel, they are the ones who have the wisdom! (e.g., We don't have to use heroin to know it's bad. Just listen to the one who can tell you how bad it is!)
(I don't blame my ex-wife for our failures. She did about the best she could too. I blame myself for not stepping up to the plate and using scrripture in raising my children). I failed "to seek" in addition to listening, accepting and implementing.
We should all seek wisdom!
Proverbs 3:13-18 (ESV) "Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding, for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold. She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace. "
On the other side of wisdom is foolishness:
Proverbs 12:15 (ESV) "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice."
If you'll remember, I mentioned the "stupidity" of not taking advice? Scripture goes further. It's the "fool" who fails to "heed" advise. I've been a fool before, but I now make a strong attempt to do what's wise. I normally seek scripture myself which applies to the situation. Sometimes when I can't get the answer I ask a mature respected God-living Christian. If I get answers which solely please me, I'm getting wrong answers. Wisdom does not counsel pleasure. It counsels a hard course. Some advice angered me! That was the best advice I ever got. Although it made me angry, with introspection, I took that advice! It was scriptural and hard advice to swallow.
The most wise man ever said this:
Ecclesiastes 7:25 "I turned my heart to know and to search out and to seek wisdom and the scheme of things, and to know the wickedness of folly and the foolishness that is madness."
Our hearts should search out wisdom. Relying on our own internal "GPS" it won't be found. We'll normally take the wrong road! That's folly (foolishness). Why would we want to act in a manner which leads to failure? That's madness! Love is a hard thing. Love is seeing our children fail without bailing them out. Love is letting them fight their own battles. Love is letting them provide for their family. Love is being there when they seek advice, and if they're wise children they will "search and to seek wisdom" before a catastrophe happens. They are not to ask advice on how to escape the consequences of their foolishness, but how to avoid foolish behavior from the start. That's the type of relationship bred from love... from scripture!
No comments:
Post a Comment