Excuses vs. Reasons

Three statements. Which has the most impact?

1) I don't do aerobics because I don't have time, nobody will do them with me, and besides that I don't have a floor mat.

OR

2) I don't do aerobics because I'd rather do other things!

OR

3) I don't do aerobics because I physically am not capable of doing them.

What do you think? Is it door #1, door #2 or door #3?

What's the primary difference between 1, 2 and 3?

Statement #1 has the most wordage. Statement #2 is true. Statement #3 may be true or the speaker just may not now what his capabilities are. However, we must remember that speaker #3 may have attempted aerobics before and failed miserably. There just is not enough information! How about revising that latter statement:

3R) I don't do aerobics because I did them and I failed after many trials.

Statement #3R is now valid and has more information. Of course with instruction and practice this person may have been capable, but we'll assume that he too would "rather do other things"!

Therefore, statement #2 "I'd rather do other things." is the statement most true and should have enough impact. My motto has always been "People do what they truly want to do!"  Therefore, speaker #1 is exaggerating or believing that (multiple excuses = 1 good reason). Speaker #3 is saying about the same thing "I've tried that before and I'd rather do other things!"

A great reason IS "I am doing what I truly want to do!" That means speaker #2 is being most honest, but may be considered to be rude. That's why people use multiple excuses or assemble a valid, but not complete reason. People play games with words most of the time to avoid conflict and hurt feelings; often their own feelings.

Excuses lessen the blame in justifying one's actions. A better word is "rationalizing" one's decisions.

Reasons justifies one's actions. The difference is the phrase: "lessen the blame". The speaker (#1, for instance) knows that no valid reason exists for not doing aerobics. Therefore, multiple excuses are used since none of them are valid anyway. In their eyes (multiple excuses = 1 reason). They feel good about it, but the perceptive listener feels minimized. Depending on the subject at hand, hurt feelings may ensue.

When I ask someone to come over for dinner or go to a movie or something, IF I get a multiplicity of "reasons" (sic), it's just a bunch of excuses to lessen the blame for them who would  "rather  be doing something else". The motto "People do what they truly want to do." is immutable; is and always has been that way. Of course there are valid reasons! People incapacitated or incarcerated certainly aren't doing what they would rather be doing, but that's the exception. Even people who are  hard at work are "doing what they truly would rather be doing" because they have choices!

They would rather have things and feed themselves and their families than slothful (at least until Obama came on the scene). They can choose not to work, but honestly, short of a miracle or a dead rich uncle, they're doing what they want to do because the options are bleak.

Now for the spiritual message: I don't go to church because: 1) _______,  2) _______, 3) _______, 4) ________,  n) ________. Any number of excuses (n) can be dreamed up to rationalize not going to church. The one valid reason is that "People do what they truly want to do." That's to not go to church! They'd rather be doing something else!

I'm not your friend because:  1) _______,  2) _______, 3) _______, 4) ________,  n) ________. All these are excuses. The valid reason is "People are friends with those whom they truly want to befriend", or "I'd rather be with someone else.", or more honestly "I just don't like you!" People who don't like someone else is not much on "loving their neighbor"! They prefer to pleasure their idol; their own "self". That goes back to my motto: "People do what they truly want to do!" because what they truly  want is pleasure.

Now envision this: You are standing before God and he asks "Why?" Your response is "I did what I truly wanted to do!" God says "That's a true statement (#2). However, by doing what was right in your own eyes, you were appeasing your idol of the "self". Rather than loving me and others, your life was full of self-love. Away from me. I never knew you!"

It doesn't have to be that way! Be honest, be empathetic, be forgiving, be inclusive and be loving. For God and neighbor, topple your own idol, and "Do what God truly wants you to do!"