Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Act 1 Scene 1: Act 1 Scene 2

Two of my friends went to a Pentecostal tent revival. They sat in the back, and being non-charismatics, they just listened. As they sat, the preacher kept looking at them as if they were aliens. It was obvious that he was preaching to them.  As the service was ending he confronted them with "Are you Christians?" When they said that they were, he asked, "Then, why don't you ACT like you are?"

Christianity is more than acting. Being a Christian is much more than being a George Clooney or a Jennifer Lawrence, neither of which are acting since neither put on the pretense that they are Christians. On the other hand, many people just act like Christians, but it's merely one-act plays, but there are two scenes.

Act 1 Scene 1:  (Preparing for church)

It's Sunday morning. Natalie gets out of bed, drinks her morning joe, takes a shower, and puts on her finest "Sunday go to meeting clothes". They are a little more modest than what she wears on other days but not much more so. She puts on her heels and the best jewelry as she thinks, Gloria will really admire this outfit, and she'll just die for my jewelry.

She's really tired from all the fun last night, and yawns repeatedly. Her eyes look tired, so she puts on pale blue eye-shadow. She is now pleased with herself.

George comes into the bedroom. He's all dressed, but Natalie says, "Your outfit doesn't match mine!" In defense, George yells back, "Who cares; let's go or we'll be late." Both leave together, as Natalie scorns. They hop into their new Vette as George puts the pedal to the metal. They arrive early enough to join in the gossip before church.

George starts to sits down in his usual seat, but those people from Woodside Street are sitting near their seats. Natalie grins at them, and says hello. She forgot their names. She makes a mental note to ask them again someday. She nudges George to sit two pews closer to the front. She thinks, more people can see my outfit that way anyhow.

Soon all gets quiet as the song leader steps forward to pray. George thinks, Sally sure looks great today. Natalie thinks, I look great today!

George prays a short prayer: Lord, forgive me for all my sins this week. He then waits until the prayer is over as he glances at Sally. He tries to stop but his eyes are too powerful. 

Natalie's mind wonders. She looks at everyone and checks them out. She doesn't like Hilda. She's always so serious. Hilda just needs to break out of her shell, she thinks, failing to realize that Hilda is worried about her son who uses drugs and doesn't believe in God. As Hilda sheds tears, Natalie thinks, What an act! She's just making people think she's Godly.

Act 1 Scene 2: (The service begins)

Natalie and George are ready to worship. Both smile really big and look the preacher and nod. We'll have to vote him out soon, Natalie thought. He's been here too long. He knows people too well.

Ernie, the choir director, picked out great music this week. It made both George and Natalie feel good. They both tapped their feet and drummed their fingers in time with the beat. The next song was more refrained. Natalie loved it! Natalie raised both hands to the Lord. She glanced heavenward. Mary, the biggest slut in the church (according to the rumor mill) thought, I wish I was that holy.

After the good music, the entertainment gave way to more serious business. Pastor John had studied hard. He had twenty-minutes to get his message across. His message is on the love of money. Natalie tuned him out. She looked at the pretty designer nails, and wished that she had filed them. She finally did.

George wore his new watch. He kept looking at the time, not necessarily to watch its progression but because his watch is really neat. You can see the movement!

Where did time go? Pastor John now said, "Everyone bow their head and close their eyes."

Natalie and George were the first to do so. Natalie was really glad because she was still sleepy.  Pastor John gave an altar call. Natalie thought, those people two rows back need to go to the altar. I'm sure they are sinners because they look like they are rough people. She then prays for them.

Convicting music played softly while the preacher begged that sinners come to repentance. George  thought, Someday I will go forward and repent. Before the music stopped, Kathy went forward, as she often did. George thought, now the service will last longer. Why does she have to go forward so often? She must be a big time sinner!

George is a deacon. He is expected to go forward and pray with Kathy. He wants Natalie to go with him up front for he knows that she needs help, not even considering his own neglect!

George stands piously behind Kathy as the preacher prays for her. George doesn't know what the problem is, but he's not praying anyhow. His job is just to be there, isn't it?

Natalie puts her hand on Kathy's shoulder as her mind wanders.  I hope they like my outfit!

George notices that Henry's watch is a Rolex. He is jealous. Feeling guilt pains, he closes his eyes, but his mind is still on Henry's watch.

After praying through, Pastor John asks for testimonies. George jumps up first, and tells what the Lord has done for him. Natalie grimaces, what have you done for the Lord, George, because she knows that he has done little. I wish he would just sit down so we can go!

Pastor John asks George to pray, as he heads toward the foyer. George prays his best prayer. Natalie thinks, I've heard that one many times before. I wonder where we're eating lunch.

The choir director Ernie returns and says, "you are dismissed".

The Ovation:

Natalie breaths as sigh of relief. She made it again without repentance. Maybe next week.

George and Natalie stay standing. They bow from the waste down as they slowly raise their hands upward. They both have a pleased smile. This is the curtain call and it's time for their ovation.

The congregation stands in unity. George and Natalie performed well, and they need the recognition. The sanctuary reverberated with sound as the applause was tremendous and long. It seemed as if the accolades would never stop as the congregation whooped it up. George and Natalie bowed time and time again, and the applause thundered! Even Pastor John appreciated their good acting. They were the best of the best.

The Local Review:

George and Natalie Woods appeared at the First Church of the Gospel where they put on the best act. Both of them performed beyond expectations and the congregation was well pleased. Some asked that they return for an encore performance Sunday evening. We're sure they will even wow those in other churches.

God:

Poor performance. I am not impressed. For Him this act was a tragedy. God cried.

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