SPADES AND HEARTS IN THE GAME OF HONOR

KEY VERSES: Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old… The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him. Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice.  My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways. (Proverbs 23:22-26)

THE FOLLOWING IS NOT SITUATIONAL, BUT THE NEXT SUBJECT ARISING IN EXPOSITORY BIBLE STUDY. (God provides answers in His time).

  First off, proverbs are “words put forward,” and the suffix “pro” would indicate favorable words put forth. Proverbs are words of wisdom, and when put forth by inspired men, would be God’s Wisdom. What can go wrong with heeding God’s Word for the Voice of God is Jesus Christ! In the English language, we think of verbs as action words. Proverbs are then Jesus’s words put forth that we do for benefit.
  Let’s examine the key verses word for word for all of those words are the wisdom of God, and were spoken by the voice of Jesus long before he appeared to the world. They are ancient words which have survived paganism and doubters since the days of Solomon. They are as applicable today as they were to the faithful of all time. “Hearken unto thy father who begat thee.” On the surface, that looks so ordinary, but examine it thoroughly; it is extraordinary! Back in Paradise, Adam did what? “Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life.” (Gen 3:17). Adam hearkened to Eve. Adam should have hearkened to God who said, “But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die” (Gen 2:17). If Adam had hearkened unto his Father, then things would be much different. His days would have been longer in the Garden of Eden, but his days were cut short therein as God “drove the man out” of the land (Gen 3:24).
  Now examine the “Fifth Word” of Jesus: “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Exod 20:12). The proverbial writer said exactly the same thing that God told Adam; only added the part about “mother.” (I explained that in yesterday’s commentary).
  In all cases, if people hearken unto their father or Father, they will live a long time in Paradise wherever, here or there, respectively! That is a great promise for any easy thing. It should be easy to listen and honor the parents because the reward for listening is so great. Only a foolish man would not heed what his parents would say unless the parents are not honorable. Therefore, failing to hearken unto parental voices is like saying, Father, you are not honorable. Christian (or even moral) fathers would be hurt badly for sons and daughters who find them so disgusting that they are non-persons in their children’s sight. In modern times, I see unruly children even cursing their parents. Surely, their days are numbered in this or any other land.
  I have a beloved cousin who lost her precious son because he failed to heed the voice of his parents or his heavenly Father. His days could have been long in this land. God is gracious, and surely his days will be long, and even eternal, in Paradise since he was a believer. However, he failed to hearken unto the Voice of either his earthly father or his heavenly, and is now gone from the land; existing in this land only in our loving memories.
  That’s one of the worst cases of failing to honor parents by hearkening their word. “Hearken” means to give humble attention (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). That implies hearing, considering, and acting upon the words of the father, or simply taking the advice or counseling of one who has a greater body of knowledge and the experience in applying that knowledge. Infants often ignore, Stay away from the burner because it will burn. Older children often ignore, Stay away from ______ (you fill in the danger) because there are consequences. In this day and age, unjustifiable anger is the “burner.” Continually, we see young people on the streets in the news burning with anger for no rational reason. People of all ages burn with anger because life seems to have invaded their little world – their comfort zone! Things seem not to be as they see it, and they are angered by those who see it differently.
  Proverbs imply that action is required for the effectiveness of the word. To be a positive application (pro), the action must be toward what is right. Anger is an emotion, and most anger is misapplying the knowledge. Anger is an irrational response to either an irrational argument or even a rational one. People must not respond to unreasonable things with anger, let alone reasonable things. A friend of mine calls that, “pulling my chain.” In other words, like a puppet, he tries to control my behavior by saying things to provoke me to anger. Believe it or not, demons even pull the chains of Christians quite often. Recently, I had a demon pull my chain but I, metaphorically, jerked hard on it and tipped him over!
  For the first point of the key verses, paying attention to the wisdom of fathers is imperative. The Fifth Word does not have a disqualification – as and example: Honor your father if he is perfect. Only those sons who are perfect could expect that, but the only perfect Son to ever exist honored his Father!
  The second point is to, “despise not thy mother when she is old.” Note that there is no disqualifier there either, such as, Except you may despise her if she does something that doesn’t meet your notion of right. Mothers who have rebellious sons have a right to use toughlove. They must do the hard thing, and it does hurt them more than the son! Good parents take no pleasure in doing hard things. They may even be too harsh in their actions, but it is still necessary to discipline.
  Good mothers discipline their boys with the switch, but not in anger. Frustrated mothers use harsh words. Who is it that frustrates them? You know the answer; it is the rebellious son. Toughlove will provoke to anger because no one appreciates punishment. If you hate sinners in the hands of an angry mother, wait until you are sinners in the hands of an angry God! If you can’t reconcile with your mother, how is it you plan to reconcile with God?
  Usually children love their mother when she is young because she is the one who nourishes and loves them tenderly. Mothers are much more loving than fathers as they would do anything for their own flesh. However, as time passes, the young son or daughter believes that he or she surpasses the wisdom of the mother, and are too independent to accept her love. Then they begin to despise her authority and even resent her love. When mother most needs them, some despise their mother. What if she had despised you when the son did things wrong to her? Ironically, though, sons most often don’t reject mother’s nourishment (money and such), but do her need for love and respect. Mankind is often meaner than the beasts who always appreciate their mothers!
  The third point in the key verses is, “The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice.” Fathers most always love their sons. Good fathers are always loving. However, it is not up to the son to decide who is the good father and who is the bad father.
  Good fathers discipline. Sparing the rod is not how to love the son; that’s what God says. Rebellious sons think that using disciple and/or correction is a bad idea. Fathers do not use rods or switches on adult children, but they do correct them when they are wrong. When children are wrong, their misperceptions can hurt other people.
  When any family member does wrong to another family member, it upsets the family system. Who gains by that? No one but Satan. Disrupting families by any means is how Satan usurps God. How can a family worship in unity when there is discord? It can’t be done! Satan smiles at anger, especially between those who should love each other the most. Are you an angry person? If the answer is in the affirmative, Satan is pulling your chain!
  If the son does righteous things, then the father rejoices. How can the son be righteous? By godliness, slowness to anger, compassion, kindness, and brotherly love. God spoke that, it is not my precepts, but they are still great ideas! God wrote them as “prescriptions for eternal health.” Father’s want to rejoice for their sons. It hurts when fathers cannot. Good fathers want kind and compassionate sons so that they can rejoice. The Good Father also desires to rejoice at all His sons, not just His one Son.
  Aged fathers deserve a day of rest. When the Father created, He rested as all things were very good! Soon after that God retired, and his adult son, Adam, failed to honor his Father. What happened? God lost His overdue rest, and had to continue His work on Adam. All of a sudden, his first son perceived himself as God, and failed to honor his Father. In modern times, some young men have their “Jesus Moment” when they finally understand God, but other young men have their “Me Moment” when they perceive themselves as wiser than God or their father.
  The Serpent jerked Adam’s chain because Satan was in the cunning snake. Satan isn’t in you, but is required to jerk your chain for his own agenda. Just what is Satan’s agenda? To cause chaos in the things of God. Soon after God created the things that are seen, he set to work on intangible things. That was the family system. Soon after that he created the father of man, he created the mother from him, and then the children. The family system was ordained by God and whatever God joined together, let not anyone put asunder!
  My own part in disrupting the family system is my failure to keep the family intact. For that, I have repented often. However, it is difficult to be a family, but easy to be a chaotic group of individuals with each in their own worlds. Families often go their independent ways. For my family, we never did! When my brother Joe was on his deathbed, in the end he said, “At least I have my brothers,” and implied his sister who was not there at the moment. Perhaps he never felt his children’s love as much as his siblings. I don’t know, but regardless, his greatest joy at his death was his family of sixty-some years!
  The fourth point from the key verses is, “He that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him.” Parents deserve that! God created children to commune with Him. When they do, God rejoices! Made in the image of God, all fathers want to rejoice in their sons! For my part, I brag on my sons for their accomplishments, but in my own viewpoint the main accomplishment is doing and being what is right. I recently wrote a letter to one son who may not have seen my joy in him. I elaborated on all the significant times that I stood behind him. When he was wrong, I called the “spade” a “spade,” but when he was wronged, I was always right there with him. It is easily to remember the “spades,” but so much more difficult to remember the “hearts.”
  Good fathers love their sons regardless of behavior. Just as God, “so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son” (John 3:16), good fathers love their sons so much that we would suffer in their places if possible, and so would mothers. God loved mankind when they were yet in sin, and Christian fathers love their sons when they do not honor their father. God does want their honor, and fathers of all types, desire for their children to honor them, and much more so their mothers.
  Children are wise when they hearken unto their fathers. Men are wise when they hearken unto their heavenly Father. Sons and daughters who do not hearken to God lack wisdom. Remember what “hearken” means again – to hear, listen, consider, and heed the wisdom of the parents. Many times, even parents who fail have wisdom because they have learned from their failures. For instance, in the case of divorce a second time, if the occasion ever arose again, rather than considering only myself, I would consider my entire family. We all make mistakes, and wisdom is refusing to repeat what can never be undone. When Satan destroys systems, only God can put them together again, but we as mere humans only make his task more tenacious.
  The fifth point is that parents deserve some happiness: “Thy father and thy mother shall be glad,” and that is followed by the reason for the mother – because,  “she that bare thee shall rejoice” (The sixth point.)  Gestation and labor are periods of love and agony which only the mother can bear. Mothers deserve to rejoice and be happy.
  A son I knew several years ago was not a loving son. He often ridiculed his mother, was angry toward her, and short-tempered. Soon, the mother of that son had a stroke and was unable to walk and speak. The son changed his attitude before it was too late; he became the most dedicated son of them all, and it was surely regret for the treatment of his mother before. His mom accepted her prodigal son back with loving arms! My brother is the prodigal son, and my mother the good mother!
  The seventh and last point of the key verses is, “My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.” Fathers and mothers, as well as the heavenly Father, ask something so simple – give me your love and honor me! What is so hard about that? It should be simple to love fathers, mothers, and The Father; but people make it such hard work!
  The baby at the breast automatically loves the mother. The baby bounced on the father’s knees automatically loves the father. What happened between infancy and adulthood? The bond was broken; everybody found out that the others were not perfect, then Satan used that acquired knowledge one against the other. To be as the little children is having a propensity to love unconditionally, and automatically. Surely, if one finds it difficult to love parents who love them, they will find it exceptionally difficult to love the Father who loves them so much that He did the tough thing; He sacrificed His only Son.
  The decree to honor and love parents is not a suggestion or optional; it is the least that can be done as a way to honor God. My own years without my father, with each of us doing our own thing, are lost years. If I could have all those lost seconds back, my Dad would still be here. It’s not that there was dissension between us two, but that our priorities were elsewhere. My first priority has always been to my children. Eleven times I turned down promotions with General Motors so as to not disrupt my family again. I placed my children first; before my job and before my income. I was a good father, but far from the perfect one. Those tough things cannot be redone. That is not how the world works. What we decide to do now is forever. The times I disrespected my parents is there for eternity. If only I could undo what I have done with my parental family and with my own!
  However, this is not just about my family, but all families. I see Satan undermining God in most families. He seems to be leaving pagan families alone for they belong to him already. I cringe when I watch non-Christian men and their children loving each other, but fail to see that in Christian relationships. God expects more from us all – fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, and all God’s “children.”
  Who has the perfect father or mother? Nobody. Who is the perfect son or daughter? Nobody! We are to measure ourselves by the same metric that we measure others. God said that! We cannot even measure right, but we still expect to be rewarded for bad measures. We humans are pitiful, but God has grace on his little human “beasts.”

Spades and Hearts/Truth and Love