My Dilemma

     Our church had a study on spiritual gifts. I have known what mine are for years, and have usually used my gift whether it has been for teaching or lay-preaching. The study may have had the opposite affect on me than most. The intention was for people to recognize their gifts and use them for the Lord. For me, it validated my gift, convinced me that I had always used my gift, but now I am not, although I am certainly willing to. Rather than enthused, I feel dejected. I’ve always volunteered for any type of teaching activity, have a graduate degree in education, and know the Bible quite well, although I am not a seminary graduate.
     What’s wrong, then? I know my gift but can’t use it, for who knows for what reason. The conclusion is that maybe I’m in the wrong place at this time. Perhaps it is a sign that I need to go out into the world and tell others about Christ! I don’t want to do that because there are many where I am who could use some of the insights the Lord has given me over the years. I have obtained much from the Bible that no one in all my life has taught or preached. So many have used common commentary that much teaching is cookie-cutting, in that most preachers in one denomination have been taught the same limited curriculum.
     For instance, I had never had one of the most important chapters in the Bible taught thoroughly; to wit, John 3.  Although salvation is an often-preached sermon, that is not the MUST BE. Salvation is an outcome or affect, not a cause or Way. Scripture does not say, You must be saved, but “You must be born again” (John 3:7). Jesus said in that same passage, “marvel not,” indicating not to be amazed at that. I “marvel” that it is still taught that we must be saved. One preacher explained to me that Jimmy Carter gave born again a bad connotation. That was an admission that he was not teaching or preaching the gospel.
     The notion that we must be saved is so prevalent that it bothers me immensely! It implies that it is us who saves ourselves. How so? Walking to the altar has come to mean salvation.
     Regeneration (born again) is a lifelong process ending in salvation. When? At the end of life. Rebirth is the beginning, and faith is the interval between regeneration and salvation. Salvation is when Christians give up their ghost, as is written, “But man dieth, and wasteth away: yea, man giveth up the ghost…” (Job 14:10) just as Jesus did (Mat 27:50.)
     Salvation continues on after death until resurrection. The souls of Christians are sealed, but complete regeneration is not accomplished until the body and soul are reunited. That is glorification, and comes about at the rapture when Jesus comes down to take the living and dead in Christ to Heaven. Not to be confused, but the souls of the dead are already there, but at the rapture, new incorruptible flesh will be provided. The salvation process ends at the General Resurrection of the dead as Jesus set the example.
     That’s my thoughts about teaching on salvation based on scripture. My desire in teaching is to place the emphasis on rebirth as it is the only MUST BE in the Bible. Everything else is to convince that to live forever there is only one Way – to be born again. The rest of scripture is about the reward of that and the punishment if not! Holy Scripture condenses to three “chapters,” then: (1) Born again, (2) the importance of it, and (3) the result. Do not be amazed at that!
     My dilemma is what to do. How and where can I use my gift? I placate my desire to fulfill the Great Commission with my blog this instant. Each day, what I write is available to less people for two reasons: (1) Most elect not to learn about Christ, and (2) Google’s algorithms have limited the number of who can read my blog. For instance, suddenly readership dropped from 700 hits per day down to 70. That could not have been because suddenly 630 people at the same time decided to quit reading my thoughts! That would be irrational to believe that.
     My thought today is about frustration. I merely seek to do God’s will for me, but am hindered. What can I do with my gift if there are no recipients? I have agonized over that for nine years. What am I to do? I still have no answers and joy is diminished, knowing that I am not using my gift to its full potential. Satan’s task is to frustrate Christians. Of course, I am insignificant to him, but not to his demons. Paul had a “thorn in his flesh” which, “the messenger of Satan to buffet me.” Why would that be? “Lest I should be exalted above measure” (2 Cor 12:7). Perhaps I am buffeted (attacked) by Satan’s messenger, whoever it is, so that it keeps me humbled!
     My conclusion is that I must await God’s timing. Perhaps I am too arrogant or desire to use my gift for the wrong reasons as Simon the Sorcerer did. Teachers and writers must always ask themselves the question, Am I doing this to elevate the Lord or for my own elevation? Rebirth is understanding that only the Lord must be elevated, but we are to diminish ourselves. Perhaps since I have not, the Lord is diminishing me!