On Being Right

Oftentimes, the smartest person is usually the one who says the least. I'm not referring to any particular person, but I know from personal experience that it works. Those who speak little are seldom wrong! Unfortunately, I'm no longer a wall-flower, and speak forthrightly, but the more that I speak out, the more often that I'm wrong!

As an example, when I was teaching one Sunday morning, I said "the northern kingdom, Judah" and someone in the class said "Judah was the southern kingdom". I gazed at my mental picture, was 100% sure since I could visually see it in my head's map, and declared myself right. After all, how could I be wrong since I could see it on my mental map? My mind's eye drew the map that I needed to see to protect my wrongness!

My best response would have been "Perhaps you're right, let's check for sure"!  If I had put my pride aside I would have done that, but Mr. Pride chose to become even more wrong!  I insisted that I was right, even though I was wrong! Face it, we can all be wrong, but the less we speak, the fewer that know it!

Mark Twain probably said many times:

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

There is much said in these few words! The mouth is the foolish animal who reveals your secret dummy. I have a professional dummy. His name is "Bucky". He sits there with a silly smile all the time. People know he's a dummy! However, when he says things, at my behest, his stupidity is revealed. Unlike Bucky, who has no pride, people are prideful. When we're wrong, if our heart isn't right, we must protect that pride! There are many mechanisms the psyche has of protecting. Most often it's saying more words, and the more that's said, the more wrong a person becomes! There are soothing words the pride seldom speaks; "I'm sorry!" is so easy, but seldom roams outside it's dusty cabinet inside the mind. With those words "wrongness" can be healed and  pride back-steps.

Pride often defends himself through anger. People who are often wrong are often angry. It may be that they are angry with themselves for being wrong, but others become cathartic to their stress. Others are battled for one reason: they just happen to be right!

Psalm 4:3 "But know that the Lord hath set apart him that is godly for himself: the Lord will hear when I call unto him. 4 Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still." The ESV says "and be silent".

 (Sartor Resartus, 1831) said "Silence is golden!"

Perhaps there are three reasons to remain silent: We need to  silence our pride (be meek), hide our stupidity (and we are all ill-informed on much), and avoid embarrassing others with their stupidity! The only person who I know who is never wrong is Cliffy on the sitcom Cheers. He believed himself to be an authority on every subject, but was a fool on all! Everyone knew it because Cliffy would never shut up. People didn't feel angry, they felt sorrow for his inability for him to recognize his own limitations. Cliffy never had to say "I'm sorry!" because he actually believed that he was a walking encyclopedia.

I admit: "I say too much too often!" I am opinionated, but my opinions are based on years of reading, studying, and evaluating what I read. I test what I believe by comparing it to truth. On the "Civil War" (sic) I was often wrong early on because I was taught things in Indiana which were not true! I became angry with the writers of history, the teachers and myself for propagating a false history. Since the victors write history, we should always be wary of what we read! It's a mistake to read one side only. Somewhere between the writings of two sources lies the truth. We must seek truth, not reinforce our false beliefs.  I was fooled, opened my mouth often and eliminated any doubt the hearer may have had.

I know my own biases and limitations. Now for others! I hear people often who say ignorant things and they reveal that ignorance by speaking out! Many times the most wrong person is the most opinionated, but their opinions are merely false perceptions. None of us know it all, but most people want others to believe that they're more knowledgeable than what they are. It's an attempt to obtain respect and prestige. Unfortunately, it isn't earned respect. An opinion without foundation is as a tower built on silt. It will tip over when challenged by the slightest gust and the result will be chaos.

The way to avoid the chaos of wrong statements is to remain silent, even when certain, unless it serves to magnify God and others. Do you feel angry when you're wrong? Quit being wrong! Remain silent. Silent opinions, which are true, reigns over wrong opinions which are announced with bull horns! People may like Cliffy's, but that's television fantasy. People avoid know-it-alls (sic)! Even right "know-it-alls" make others feel inferior and our motives must be to build others up, not tear them down!

1 Thessalonians 5:11 "Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify (encourage) one another, even as also ye do."

It's not encouraging to make others feel uncomfortable by arguing about insignificant things. We all seek encouragement. It's necessary to feed our soul. People who're criticized all the time get discouraged. Criticism is the worst way to build relationships and challenging others with insignificance is not showing love. People feel stress when they have to listen to silly comments and constant challenges to statements. What's wrong with leaving misunderstood comments and technicalities behind? I could challenge the most benign statement made by people, but what is to be gained? Relationships are what's lost with constant challenges. We all may be right, but we all too can be wrong, and sometimes ignorance is bliss! Blissfulness is most probable in those that are silent! Look how happy I was when I was a wall-flower!