Ephesians 4:29 (ESV) "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."Some people are born negative. That's their personality! One person who I know is nicknamed "Grumpy". With a moniker like that, it can readily be assumed that Grumpy has a critical spirit! Those are the people who criticize any comment. They read into the most benign comments an attack, and immediately go into defense mode. They endeavor to protect their own right to judge others. Furthermore, the opinion of others is seldom honored!
Some people are so critical, that if they are complimented with, let's say, "You are dressed sharp today!", they would respond with "You didn't like how I was dressed yesterday?" People who are critical of others are often insecure in their own milieu. They may feel less intelligent, less successful, less attractive, less athletic, or less whatever. The way to defend their deficiencies is to minimize others! Minimizing others is "corrupting talk". It's meant to hurt and in essence, taken to extremes, destroy; if not relationships, but love. And that's why we are not to have corrupting talk. It demonstrates a lack of love!
The talk that comes our of our mouths is "only such as is good for building up.! In the above example Grumpy should have responded "Thank you! I love this hairstyle and dress. I'm glad you do too!" With this type of response, not only does the person graciously accept a compliment, but puts value on the words of others! Rather than implying "You jerk!", a statement which builds up, that implies "I value your opinion" or praise. Thank you for noticing!" That is a comeback which "gives grace to those who hear."
Some statements are mere observations and are neither a compliment nor an attack. "The sky looks gray." is an example. The critical person, never condescending into agreement, may reply "It is not!". The negative connotation is an attitude which creates a battleground of attitudes. Perhaps the responder should either remain silent if he or she disagrees, or merely reinforces the conversation! After all, it's just small talk! Why created dissension when people are merely trying to include? That's the critical dragon rearing its ugly head to breath sulfur and acridity into a relationship! Satan smiles.
Matthew 7:12 (ESV) The Golden Rule “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets."We all have feelings and we all prefer the avoidance of conflict (except for belligerent bullies). Most of us want to be treated with respect and in a non-contentious manner. We are to treat others with the same respect and love which we enjoy for ourselves! For a Christian, that's not an option. It is "the Law and the Prophets"! God commands us to build others up and not to have a critical spirit.
The highest hurdle for loving relationships are critical spirits. Satan smiles at Christian's total disregard for God's will. He delights that critical people mimic corrupting behavior. We should try being pleasant in our relationships. In short, people need to chill out! We are all in this life together and together we must be. Why don't we just try to make the journey as easy as possible for all, including ourselves? Critical people aren't happy people because God is the author of happiness, and a critical spirit is not of God!
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