Hissy Fit Store: Why That Name?

Most days when I run, I pass by a children's store named "Hissy Fits". Because I don't have the vocabulary of Daniel Webster, I wondered what that word meant! Because it was the name of a children's clothing store, I assumed that it referred to something childish! I did look in several places and here lies the definition pieced together for Herrin's Unabridged Dictionary:

Hissy Fit: An immature sudden unfounded emotional outburst.

Life is too short for this! I would hope that few children waste their time having hissy fits, but then, many adults still have them because they were never contained in their informative years! I didn't know what they were, for we called them "temper tantrums" in years past. One of my offspring had those tantrums. His anger would be so profound that he would scream until he nearly passed out.

Because I had not yet read all the wisdom of Dr. Spock (sic), I used my own technique to  address my child. Just when the anger was at the right amplitude and the cries at the right frequency, I dumped a glass of ice cold water right in the face of my own child. The temper tantrum stopped dead. This youngster was astounded! The hissy fit  didn't get the compassion and obedience from me which was sought. The face was splashed with an ample dose of ice cold water. Never did my child have a hissy fit again!

"So it worked one time! Big deal." you say. Because it worked once, I tried it again.

No one would babysit my nephew because the moment Momma left, he too would have a temper tantrum. Just as she departed he broke into a hissy fit. I've never seen such anger. He turned purple and nearly destroyed his own idol. Since he wasn't my kid, I couldn't dump a glass of ice cold water in his face! However, I did sprinkle his face. He stopped the hissy fit immediately, eyed me then resumed his tantrum. "I'll show him who's boss!" this 3-year old was surely thinking. I sprinkled him again! This time, just as Pavlov's dog was trained by the bell, this little boy learned from a repeated response to his action. The hissy fit stopped and we had a great evening. He's in his 30's now and I hear that he never again had a hissy fit!

Dr. Spock, maybe you could have learned from me! Sometimes we must be pragmatic. Sometimes we must do something to change behaviors!

Let me now look at the synonym: "temper tantrum" which "is typically characterized by stubbornness, crying, screaming, defiance, angry ranting, a resistance to attempts at pacification and, in some cases, even hitting. Physical control may be lost; the person may be unable to remain still; and even if the "goal" of the person is met, he or she may not be calmed. A tantrum may be expressed in a tirade: a protracted, angry, or violent speech." (Wikipedia)

If this is only for children it would be outgrown by adulthood. If this is true, then why are adults still responding in the same manner? It's anger and the irrational resolution of that anger.

All sin reverts back to Adam and Eve all the time. That's because nothing has changed! "There is nothing new under the sun!" (Ecclesiastes 1:9). It was the seed of our progenitors where we learn of the first hissy fit:

Genesis 4:8 "And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him."

This was not premeditated murder. It was not planned and brought to fruition. Cain killed because he was having a hissy fit! "Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell." (Genesis 4:5b). In effect Cain "got angry" and "lost control"! That, my friends, is a "hissy fit"!

Anger is an irrational attempt to resolve conflict.  It's an emotional way of problem resolution. Guess what? It often works! Think back to my nephew's case: He wanted his Momma back. In the past his anger and loss of control resulted in his mommy staying right there with him! Momma was the "food" in the Pavlov's dog experiment, so to speak. The toddler need only to ring the bell (hissy fit) and the mother responded by giving immediate attention. Most adults still use anger as a way of controlling the behavior of others! Hissy fits are thrown to retain control. Anger is used as a means of remaining in control!

Anger is intimidating. Anger is used as a weapon in all types of warfare. The most often is the name-calling which results when politics or religion is at issue. Thin-skinned people whose arguments are weak result to anger: "stubbornness, crying, screaming, defiance, angry ranting, a resistance to attempts at pacification and, in some cases, even hitting" (Wikipedia). Included in these is name-calling. Even toddlers taunt their parents with mocking such as "nana nana boo boo... nana nana boo boo" as seen on the reality show Supernanny.

Anger is irrational even though it does sometimes get the desired results. People get intimidated and if that's what you're after, it works! Most mature adults should not want to be intimidating. That's not civilized. Dictators rule with intimidation! Sane people should not want this type of relationship!

The irrationality of anger is that mature adults who have the capacity to formulate mature reasoning. should rule anger out of the equation. In some form the serenity prayer is self-control. My version is:

"God... please help me to resolve this conflict. It's not necessary that friends agree on everything and we know that it's Satan's will that we have conflict. God, keep me in good relationship with you by keeping my heart loving and at peace. Because I'm not truly a god, others don't have to appease me. Grant me liberty from myself!" (Larry Herrin, just now).

Therein, I focus on "Me". It's Me that's the problem if I'm the one prone to anger. On the other side of the equation, if you are the angry person it's "You", or your "Me". Anger is the way to protect your idol from harm. For those who get unrighteous anger it's all about "Me". Things that make your flesh crawl is your idol, "the flesh":

Romans 8:1 "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit."

By default, there is condemnation for those who walk after the flesh. Just what is "the flesh"? It's any sin! All sin pleasures the self. Of course there are different types of pleasure, but face it, anger is pleasurable! I get road rage at times. When I do that I'm not in favor with God. It's a sin to be angry at innocent people. That's irrational! When things don't go our way, most people get angry. They want "the self" appeased and "the self" demands that others kneel to their god! The Self is "the other god" of all other gods because even idols were to pleasure the Self!

 James 1:20 "For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God."

"Wrath" is anger. It's unrighteous! That's a nice way of saying "you sinned"! I listened to a testimony by a woman who demonstrated righteousness. She made a driving error. The wronged driver made an obscene gesture toward her. The route most taken is road rage. She didn't go there! Her response was "Forgive me God for making that poor man sin!" That takes self control!

 Ecclesiastes 7:8 "Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. 9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools."

Patience is a virtue! It's being led of the spirit (of God). Anger is its opposite. It's pride abounding from another spirit. Pride is the attribute of Satan which we inherited from Adam. All our life we will fight pride. Pride gives rise to anger. It's when our god is in jeopardy that anger arises. It's our god's way of protecting his or her self from threat. "We just can't be wrong!" "I've got to have it my way!", etc. are the threats. I like the thought of those who engage in road rage "I have a right to drive here without others getting in my way even if I endanger others!" It becomes "my way or the highway!". That's your god getting angry to get his or her way!

Anger comes from the hearts of the foolish (verse 9). Fools respond as fools are prone to do: without intelligence, without wisdom and stupidly. Fools will also trade away the love they are to have in order to protect their god. It's good for the short term, but fools fail to look at long term consequences! Fools are irrational and seldom use reason when self-evaluating because their god is so self-appeasing that even the God of Reason fails them!

I mentioned that Cain killed Abel in a hissy fit. It wasn't premeditated as I said. It was a natural response of a person living out of the will of God. Their M.O. is the same as the one who deceives them. What did Cain need to do? He needed to have self-control. He needed to keep the devil in check by love. It wasn't a rational person who killed Abel, it was anger, a characteristic of those prideful and hateful!

Truthfully, we all get angry! It's the degree of anger which we manifest that's the problem. Some people don't display anger. How do they do that? It's called "self-control", keeping the Self god in check:

Ephesians 4:26 "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath..."

All anger needs control, but some degree of anger is normal. Jesus got angry, but it was because he is God that he can. He got angry because people failed to love. We are not god nor God! We don't have the right to anger such as Jesus had unless it's in defense of him.

Anger has variables which are controllable: rationality, validity,  intensity, duration, emotions, and recovery.

Paul tells us to quickly recover. I always start each day afresh. Since we all get angry that will happen. It's a choice we make, but agreeably an emotional choice. We are to have any anger under control by sunset! That's what God wants!

Intensity is another aspect of anger we must control. Hissy fits are the extreme degree of anger short of hate and murder. which God equivocates. Anger, if we have it, should be short lived. Those who dwell in anger become controlled by irrationality. They fill in their version with awful thinking; things which make their own position seem right. That awful irrational thinking is called "awfullizing". An example would be to assume that a child stole many things because he is believed to have stolen one thing. It's also the presumption of guilt for many things because of this one thing! Conspiracy theories are products of awful or irrationally thinking! We all have them! It may not be national in scope, but many people believe others are conspiring against them. Extreme irrational thinking can result in paranoia!

Some people have invalid anger. Their's is based not on reality, but a fiction created in their mind. To make the Self seem different than what it is, the other gods are minimized. What better way to minimize other gods (other than yours), than by creating myths in your own mind, and others, about this person! Discussing false perceptions with negatively-thinking counselors create even more false perceptions. I never ever discuss personal issues with anyone, even my pastor, because I can sway them to appease my god (the Self) or if they're not Christians, their subconscious desire is to have their god on a higher pedestal than your god. People get satisfaction when others are more troubled than what they are!  Some people live a myth and their god loves the myth which they are living. It puts him or her in a comfortable atmosphere beyond reality!

Emotions must be controlled! Anger can make a person stressed and sick. That's where we turn to God to comfort us. That's what his Holy Spirit does! He comforts us if we ask. The serenity prayer said in sincerity submits our problems to God for his assistance in the resolution! We turn our anger over to God and let him deal with it! We need to submit to God as well, because the fault which caused the anger may be self-inflicted. All gods hurt themselves intentionally to get your sympathy. Thin-skinned people bow to their own god of Self with tears in their eyes as they love their Self.

Romans 12:20 "Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head."

Sometimes the angry person is right, but the emotion of anger is still wrong! What are we to do with those who make us angry (the perceived enemy)? We are to do good things for them. We are to serve them nice things to appease their god, their Self. When we do that, then God avenges. That's not our place. We are to love, even the enemy, and let God deal with those who attack, even hate and persecute us!

I think you get the idea. We all have it, but that doesn't make it right or even rational. How we control anger is a measure of how much we love God, because the love we show for others is a measure of how much we love God!