Grudges

James 5:9 "Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned: behold, the judge standeth before the door."

"Grudge" is failing to forget or forgive a perceived wrong someone has done against another.

Some people say "I'll forgive, but I will never forget!" That's oxymoronic because by self-admission, the person who says things like that are holding a grudge.

Let's take a look at where we should look for advice; the Bible.

Luke 7:48 "And he said unto her, Thy sins are forgiven."

A weeping woman washed Jesus' feet with her own tears. She, as has everyone else, had sinned against God and she was remorseful. Jesus, with his grace, forgave all her sins without regard to number nor amplitude!  When he forgave the woman nothing more was said nor thought about it. Jesus made a complete pardon. What had been, passed entirely from his mind!

 Isaiah 43:25 "I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins."

Jesus forgives because he loves us (John 3:16).  Jesus doesn't wait for us to clean up our lives and turn to him before he loves. He loves us just as we are! Because he loves us he is our bff (best friend forever). It is not contingent on what we do, our personalities nor anything else!

When we express sorrow for sinning against God, God wipes the slate clean and doesn't remember the sins anymore ever! Even when we stand before him in judgment, those forgiven sins will not be used as evidence! Jesus does not hold grudges! Because we are to be as Jesus, we are to mimic him:

Luke 17:3 "Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him."

If one person wrongs another and repents, the wronged person is commanded to forgive. And forgiveness means to forget. It means to quit holding a grudge! If a person says he "forgives", but yet holds a grudge, the grudgeful person will be condemned for he is more wrong than the person who sinned first!  (James 5:9 above).

We're not finished yet! Before I was fully discerning, I tried to make wrongs against others right again. I asked for forgiveness and tried to make restitution. That's attempting to restore situations to where they were before by giving back what was taken away. There are always ways to make restitution. For instance an anger episode can be corrected by some physical act of love.

But we must go one step further!

Matthew 5:23 "Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; 24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift."

Most often the gift which I am leaving at the altar is ME.  I go there to pledge something of me to the Lord. Normally I turn something in my life over to him. However, God doesn't want me (the Christian) unless my heart is right with the command "love others as I love myself" (Matthew 19:19b).

Oh, what am I to do? Reconcile with my brother" before I leave my things at the altar. To reconcile is not only to forgive, but to seek for another to forgive me for my wrongs and perceived wrongs: "that my brother has something against me"! I may have not wronged another, but if that person holds a grudge, I must attempt reconciliation. That's a command, not an option. Grudges stand in the way of communing with God! "Reconciliation" is defined as "to cause people or groups to become friendly again after an argument or disagreement." (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). In short we are to forgive others out of love, we are to seek their friendship and we are to restore broken friendships!

Those who say that they have forgiven, most often have certainly not forgotten andstill hold grudges: that person who says "I will never be your friend again". James tells us that grudges condemn those who begrudge!

Then what should a grudge bearer do? Reconcile regardless of who did what to whom! You will never be able to commune fully with God until that's done.

What if Jesus forgives you, but is never your friend again? He would be holding a grudge and would be in sin. Jesus doesn't hold grudges, then why do you? Because your god is more precious than Jesus. Think about it and change gods and simply do this:

Ephesians 4:26 "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:"