Love

     We have friends whom I admire. She expresses a type of love which seems to be a divinely inspired for her husband. It's clear that she adores him. I think of the sinner woman who adored Jesus, demonstrating that love by washing Jesus's feet with her tears and her hair (Luke 7:36:38). She showed an appreciative and reverent love for Jesus. It was clear that she loved Jesus as herself, demonstrated by using herself as a utility for Jesus's comfort. We think of Jesus comforting us; well, we are to comfort Jesus. That sinful woman was doing just that, and my friend's wife demonstrates adoration for her husband in the same manner. Everyone desires adoration; some to the extent that they adore themselves!
     "Adore" means to worship  or to honor very highly (Etymology Online; "adore"). It is clear that my friend honors here husband highly. I know that she has a loving attitude to the degree that she would serve her husband in a kingly manner. Does he deserve that type of love? I believe he does, because he is dedicated to her. He's not a perfect husband and neither is she a perfect wife, but they have the ability to ignore trivial things and the irritants of close confinement. I don't believe that depth of love is possible without divine intervention.
      Most theologians speak of the types of love: erotic, brotherly, familial, and divine types of love - the latter how God loves us, and that we should love him. This commentary is on divine love, what theologians express as agape-type, "the love of God for man, and the love of man for God" (ibid). My friend seems to have that reverent-type of love for her husband. Holy Matrimony is a union between man and wife, and is symbolic of the "groom's" marriage to the Church. Jesus likened himself to the bridegroom (Mat 9:15), and Christians are of course the "bride." Isaiah described agape-type love quite well:

For as a young man marrieth a virgin, so shall thy sons marry thee: and as the bridegroom rejoiceth over the bride, so shall thy God rejoice over thee. (Isa 62:5)

     We are to love God as a groom would adore his new bride. Or in my example, how my friends wife has joy in adoring her husband. Her attitude is one of gratitude! The disciples were to adore Jesus as if he was about to die because soon he would be taken away (Luke 5:35). I know that my friend has adoration for her husband and treats him as if each hour with him is a last moment as did the apostles were to adore Jesus.
     People think of marriage as an erotic-type love (Greek eros). That is in the beginning. Paul referred to that as a burning-type (1 Cor 7:19) It is a natural-type love from what psychologists call "libido." That is an instinctual drive for pleasuring oneself which I presume was to encourage multiplication as was ordained by God. Soon friendship becomes a key component of love (Greek philio). With time, eros-type love becomes more subdued in favor of familial type (Greek storge). All the while agape-type love ensures that the marriage is never torn asunder. That is the type of love for this commentary.
     Agape-type is mutual love between the Creator and the created. How much does God love us? Of course as much as a groom would love his bride, but I believe even more intensely than that: "God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16). God loves his creatures to the extent that he sacrificed His only Son. God sacrificed his own flesh. Abraham felt that type of love for God when he was willing to do the same thing with his own flesh - his only remaining son (Gen 22). God and Abraham traded love. Given that agape love is mutual, Christians are to love God as Abraham did with one exception; we are called to sacrifice ourselves, not by actually dying on a cross, but in servitude to God - "a living sacrifice" (Rom 12:10). The apostle Paul called that "your reasonable service" because Jesus had commanded it: "If ye love me, keep my commandments" (John 14:15).
     We think of love as an emotion. It is much more than that; it is attitudinal, responsible, emotional, and obligatory. I take issue with David Jeremiah's belief that agape-love is God loving us expecting nothing in return. That fails to fit the definition of "agape" which is a mutual love of the same magnitude. God not only expects love but commands it and makes it imperative:

Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. (Mat 22:36)

    Luke added to that to love God with all our "strength". We are to love God intensely with our all. That's how my friend's wife demonstrates love for her husband and the woman demonstrated love for Jesus.
    That immensity of love cannot be garnered by oneself. We may act as if we are gods but inside we all know that we're not. That type of love is holy, hence, "holy matrimony". Catholic doctrine considers marriage as a sacrament (saving) it is so holy. Protestants are more correct; it is an ordinance (command or order). It is symbolic of agape love which is also an ordinance. God doesn't command emotion but He does application. Agape love is demonstration of the emotions in the heart by doing God's will. His will is to love Him and others; the metrics for that are the Ten Commandments which were written on stone by the finger of God for perpetuity.
     The work of love of God are the first four commandments, and for loving others, the last six. There is one "Greatest Commandment." Loving others is a corollary to loving God. It's how Christians demonstrate their love for God. We are to treat others as if they are God because God knows that's how we feel about ourselves. Love of self is the reference for loving others, and the intensity is with our entirety just as we own ourselves.
     Love can be faked through humanism. We have the ability to do things which are caring. The rich young ruler was noted for that. He listed the ways he had loved others (Mark 10:17-27). However, he failed to mention what he had done for God. He revealed that he was a great humanist, and indeed he was caring. That is noble but he didn't seem to be that caring for God.
     Regeneration - born again - is a change in attitude. The old person is buried and a new person emerges. That new creature is to be more than dutiful, but loving. The old person was rebellious; the new person is servile and meek. Sinners don't kill their old selves; God does. God changes sinners and oftentimes gives His new creation new names. Saul, for instance, became Paul because his attitude changed - from "questioning" to "humbled" (ibid). 
    Love is then an attitude. God instills a desire to be loving. Charity is the outcome of a new attitude. Charity is essentially serving others just as the woman served Jesus with her best - her tears and hair. She was so loving of God (Jesus) that she was emotional. Tears are a human response to emotion. She was adoring Jesus. My friend adores her husband by stroking and glancing lovingly toward him. She would probably use her hair, and she has shed many tears for him.
     Before that intensity of love is possible, there must be a change in attitude. The old person's attitude is self-love. They esteem themselves highly and foremost. That attitude must be reversed, a sort of spiritual transference. Without the emotion, love is nothing more than work, and extremely hard work, unless there is divine assistance. Just as there is divine intervention in holy matrimony, there is in Divine Patrimony.
     God is "Father" for a reason. Storge-type (familial) love is due God as well as reverent and servile love. We are to love others as brothers (philio), but storge-type love is reserved for our father and our Father in Heaven. The Fifth Commandment is there for a reason; it's indicative of the obligation we have to love God, and is demonstrated by loving our own parents. I believe our love of the Father, or agape, includes familial-type love.
     I have an attitude of love because I want to love God out of gratitude for creating, re-creating, and the hope of salvation. I want to love God because of His love for me, His mercy, and grace. The metrics are hard work, and I often fail because of the inclination to sin because of my human nature battling my spiritual desires. Our attitude is one of cognitive dissonance - the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak (Mat 26:41). Reflection on God and repentance will decrease that inner turmoil. God molds are attitudes, but we must be willing to me molded (Isa 64:8). The work of love is putting ourselves on the turntable to be molded, or bearing our own cross for Jesus.
     Scripture provides examples of love: "Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law" (Rom 13:10), "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance" (Gal 5:22-23), and also:

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Cor 4:3-7)

     Hatred is the lack of love. Love can be operationalized from apathy to perfect love; that which only God has. The negative scale of love is hatred. It is from apathy to murderous. John 3:16 expresses that God wants that "none should perish." Murderous hatred is more than hating the body but the soul - wanting that any or all should perish. That is eternally perishing in contrast to agape love which is eternally living.
     Love is correlated to forgiveness; those who are forgiven the most love God the most ( Luke 7:36-50), albeit sinners cannot sin just to be forgiven the most to increase God's love for them!
     Love is time-dependent: With regeneration, many are elated and cry with relief. That appreciation is often self-centered. Just as babes are loving because they are nourished, babes in Christ love because they have been provided for spiritually.
     Mature loving is appreciating God, not only because He saves you, but because he suffered and died when it is us that should have. Love is glorifying and honoring Jesus for his suffering and death. True love grows from about you to about God over time.
    Paul said it well, making a comparison to which I alluded: "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church" (Ephes 5:25). Conversely, husbands, love Christ, even as you love your wives. Ideally, husbands and wives in holy matrimony do love each other intensely as my friends do. Their emotional behavior exemplifies how we are to love Christ. Husbands and wives can love each other that intensely if they love Christ that much. There is a correlation between holy matrimonial love and the love of Christ.
     I am not emotional. I don't exhibit much joy nor despair. I seldom cry. At one time, I could not cry in gratitude to Jesus. That bothered me because I don't want to fake loving God by merely doing things according to His command. One day, I realized love as I cried in appreciation. With reflection of God's goodness, nourishing, protection, love, suffering, and companionship; I was able to cry for Jesus as he wept for me! Good marriages have similar love. Sometimes it doesn't hurt to cry out of love for each other, after considering what our mates have done for us,