"Hurt feelings" are the invisible protective shield, but rather than shielding the ego, it accepts the pain inflicted by the Lego. We all know how bad it hurts when we step on a Lego! Pain shoots right up the foot, through the leg and into the brain. It happens so quickly that we can't prepare by "shielding" and the brain accepts all the pain and tells the foot to hurt. We normally wince, the mechanism of defeat!
Just as real Legos inflict pain, verbal and humiliation Legos inflict real pain,! It's different, but is both physical and emotional.. Our "feelings hurt" because we do love ourselves and emotional hurt can cause physiological upsets. Never accept the idea that ANYONE has low self-esteem. Indeed too high esteem for "self" is man's main problem.
Ephesians 5:29 "For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it..."Contrary to modern thought, man's problem is not thinking too lowly of themselves, but thinking too little of God because they're into "self". People don't commit suicide because they hate themselves, but because they are protecting the "self" from the Legos thrown by the world.
Mark 12:31b " Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.."Let's rewrite this in the negative: "Thou shalt hate thy neighbor as you do thyself!" Do you really think that God wants you to hate others? He wrote this scripture in a positive light because it's a given; people love themselves, even more than anything! That's why we are the standard of comparison for loving others! God knows how much we each love ourselves.
Ephesians 5:29 also speaks of our "defense mechanism". To protect the "self" from life's Legos, we nourish and cherish ourselves. Nourishing our flesh is more than providing for it's needs, but it is also building it up; making ourselves stronger. Why? We nourish "self" because the "self" is cherished. In effect, by cherishing oneself, it's loving the "self"! This is amplified when we look at "original sin". Adam and Eve ate of the fruit and the result was "man is become as one of us". Man's quest for himself was to become like God, knowing "good" from "evil" and with that new entity of "reason" man came to love "self" over God.
All our life the dilemma of mankind is whether to worship "self" along with God or God alone. The commandment is there for that reason "Thou shalt have no other Gods before (in addition) me!" (Exodus 20:3). God isn't satisfied with the worship of the "One True God". He is a jealous God and wants you to worship no other, even along with him. The worship of other god's is to please the "self", so in effect, mankind's most terrible God is the "self"! It's me that God is jealous of! It's you he's jealous of! He's relegated to the fact that we all love ourselves and will accept the feeble sacrifice of loving others with the same measure we love ourselves!
Our body is a system. It consists of the flesh (body), the mind (thought processes) and the soul (what's filled with spirit whether it be empty, but can't be for long; filled with evil or with the Holy Spirit). Also, part of that system is our "personal space". It's the safe distance around our bodies which is our fortification. Others or things which infringe on that personal space becomes the enemy. It's part of the system penetrated by Legos thrown by others. It's not necessary to touch another to hurt, but only to come within a dangerous distance to their personal space.
Different people have various amounts of personal space. Some people are distant. The uni-bomber trusted no one. He lived in the wilderness alone because he didn't want others in his space.
Others allow people to get close. Some children, for instance, in their innocence, have personal spaces in close proximity to their bodies. They are trusting and allow people in!
There are two ways to get into the personal space of others: 1) physically enter it and 2) allow words, attitudes and actions to penetrate that space. Although personal space has volume and a wall, others must only guess at the size of personal space, for they can't see that wall. It's an invisible barrier, and only by experiment, can we detect the outward bounds of the personal space.
As an example, when we tease another, we can discover where the wall of another extends. We watch for "hurt feelings" or emotions of discomfort. We learn what we can do and say in the presence of another and endeavor to stay away from that protective wall. Sometimes others say things which hurt another. Their protective layer around their system has been Lego'd. When the layer is scored, the ego gets hurt and feels pain. The Lego with it's sharp edges, hurts the feelings!
Life's Lego's are real! However, there are imaginary Lego's as well! Others don't have to throw a real Lego to hurt others; it can be an imagined Lego. People see the mouth moving or misread an attitude, and their mind creates a Lego. Their is no danger of a real Lego, but in anticipation of nourishing and protecting the "self" the mind simulates a Lego and puts up a thicker layer of protection. People become defensive, and because they have to bring out additional weapons to protect the ego, the other person is perceived to be an enemy!
If that person has always been a friend, but now is perceived an enemy, hurt is felt. A "friend" has used an imaginary Lego to attack and the system is hurt. Acids flow into the bowels as the mind tries to protect the "self". The ego is bruised and it disrupts the system. The acid-like reaction to perceived pain is real emotional hurt and it signals the body to hurt as well. The entire system becomes disrupted and the person is emotionally dysfunctional. They became hurt when no real pain was inflicted! Their system fights an imaginary war, and since the enemy is not real, the "self" is the loser. Without a real enemy as Roosevelt said:
"Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself"Unbalanced people go around in life fearing "fear itself"! They are always ready to fight perceived enemies because they over-nourish and over-cherish their little god. Their thoughts of cherishing the "self" comes before God. The proper role for the "self" is secondary to God. When we think on the things of God, we quit worshiping the "self" so much. We must understand that it's our "self" which defeats us spiritually and from the "self" is what we need to flee!
James 4:6 "But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. 7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. 9 Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. 10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up."What this means is to put your God of "self" aside and turn to the "One True God". Realize that "you" are secondary to God and you need to tear down that idol of "self" and submit to God! Purifying your heart are the steps to take in humbling your god. You wash the fleshly stain from the heart and prepare your "self" sacrifice to God. You allow God to enter the "system" described earlier. Whatever abodes in the cup of the soul needs to flee. By purifying the "self" by cleansing the soul, God moves into the system. The ego become deflated and the soul inflated. The system changes and becomes balanced. When the devil flees its residence in your system "Hurt feelings" are replaced by love and submission. That enemy who you perceived threw Lego's at you... now you love him as you do your little god... yourself!
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