Shunning

My wife and I went to a Mennonite wedding. At the reception everyone was seated together happily rejoicing the great event. However, we noticed that the eldest son sat alone near the front at a card table. That seemed strange! When I queried a friend I was told that the son had left the church. I asked "Is he no longer a Mennonite?" and they replied that he no longer practiced Christianity! This practice is called "shunning"! Why is it done?

The ultimate concern to Christians is that those they love be Christians and practice Christianity. As I do, they too believe in "conditional security". That doctrine is that "free will" continues after the born-again experience and that Christians are free forever to apostatize; not living for God. Even before people cease to worship God, their spiritual principles get so eroded that they put more importance on self-indulgence than righteousness. They know what's right, believe it's an objective of all Christians to be righteous, but yet postpone righteousness until another day. Only those living sinful lifestyles know their own spiritual condition, but many of those have the hope of salvation although they aren't a new creation!

2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."

The age old doctrinal question is this: "Because a man still lives a sinful lifestyle, is he not truly born-again?" Only God knows that and he will do the judging. However, we can still have an opinion and indeed we must exercise that opinion:

1 Corinthians 5:11 (ESV) "But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one."

Of course "judging" runs the gambit from "innocent" to "guilty". We are not to condemn the person, which is harsh judgment, but we must have a middle position. We can witness guilty behavior, but not inner spirituality. If we still see the old creature in our Christian brother (or sister), scripture tells us "not even to eat with such a one"! That is "shunning" and that's what our Mennonite friends did. In psychological circles it's called "toughlove".

The assumption is that the "brother" still desires association with family members, friends and other Christians. The Holy Spirit uses friendship to draw others to Christ. Loving others is the best we can do to fulfill the Great Commission. Churches are filled when Christians truly love others!

Why shun? It's to reinforce positive behavior. By withholding companionship and communion with those the brother loves, it is intended to get them to change toward more positive behaviors. It's hard to detect the positive reinforcement with shunning, but when positive outcomes are exhibited, friends commune more with the brother. Shunning is an approach which steers failing brothers back toward God and is great act of love!

Shunning is difficult because it hurts the shunned emotionally. Psychologists are at odds whether shunning works, but who cares what they think? God tells Christians who love those close to them to show love by shunning! Shunning is much like punishment because the adage "This will hurt me more than you!" may be the outcome. However, Christians cannot tolerate sin in the Christian community nor in the family. Unchristian behavior is dysfunctional. Stress caused by those in sinful lifestyles can provide extreme imbalances in both families and the church!

There is another reason for shunning those brothers who live a sinful lifestyle. Satan uses them to get to you! I mentioned an "imbalance". That applies to your own relationship to Christ! Adam was told not to eat of the fruit or he would die. He watched Eve eat and she didn't die, so Adam ate of the fruit. It appeared to Adam that God was either wrong or a weak Father. Either way, Adam was enticed by the serpent and copied his wife. Eve had a negative influence on Adam and he was sinful because he let Eve model sinful behavior to him and then copied it!

We shun brothers (ans sisters) who live how they want to live because if we're not careful, we may soon be eating of the same fruit which they eat, to wit: "sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler"!

Shunning is God's way of putting a hedge around his true followers to keep Satan at a distance. That's some of the armor in God's arsenal to fight evil, and Christians must put on that durable protection. This is war and you are a pawn in the battle. You stand on the front lines and don't even know you're in the battle even thought that brother (or sister) of yours is maimed, maybe even in mortal danger!

Ephesians 6:12 "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."

Christians are to have spiritual discernment. I can sense evil approaching and endeavor to avoid it. However, those powers are stronger than I am, and I must follow God's instructions to stand firm in the face of the enemy. God tells me to stay away from negative influences and if I want to survive, I must do so!  Failing brothers are riddled with temptations offered by the evil one. Those brothers criticize what's good and build-up their own lifestyles. Because they have fallen, their desire is that you fall with them!

You must be reminded that such villainous actions are not conscientiously administered. Our brothers are tricked by deceit just as Eve was when the serpent said "you surely won't die"! after God said she would!  She listened to the wrong voice and died spiritually. If Christians listen to the wrong voice and participate with those who do sinful things, we are in danger of spiritual death as well!