First let me present my talking points:
- Some say that Allah and our God is the same by a different name. In order to be the same their personality has to be identical. Allah is One God in One Person. God is One God in three persons. It is Factor This's contention that it's not the name which has significance, but the character. Allah is a vengeful god. God is a just God. Justice is more than punishment. Justice is fairness. It is my argument that forcing one to worship Allah is unjust whereas God is just in that worship of him is a choice.
- It is contended by some that Islam is a peaceful religion. A study of their own holy book reveals that persecution, cruelty and even death are hallmarks of Islam. Whereas the word "Islam" is derived from "Salema" meaning "peace" we see in practice that Islam is anything but peace! Indeed, whereas Christians proselytize through love and logic, Islam gains converts by force. Candidates for conversion are persuaded by threats of great taxes and even death.
- Because Jesus (sic) is a prophet of Islam doesn't mean that the Christian Savior is that prophet. Muslims don't believe that Jesus died for all mankind on the cross, and indeed, they don't believe he died on the cross at all. Whereas Muslims believe that "Jesus" shall return with a vengeance to punish those who deny Islam, Christianity teaches that he would be an antichrist. Some believe their Jesus who is to return is THE antichrist!
- It appears, based on current events, that a minority of Muslims are peaceful, but many are vocal while others are silent cheerleaders for terrorism. Few Muslim voices are raised at the terror of the few.
- Society refers to "Islamic Extremists". The Q'uran indicates that extremism is orthodoxy in Islam and that those who are not extreme are disobedient to their violent faith.
In order to get this rare interview from the man who billions of people accept as a prophet, it was necessary to travel hundreds of miles to the core of the earth where the temperatures are seven times hotter than fire, according to our specialists. In order to withstand these high temperatures I was lowered by the FAX News capsule into the pits of hell. For you Jehovah Witnesses, you may want to tune out right now because the reality of hell may offend your doctrine. We wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings with a little truth, would we?
This capsule is high tensile strength stainless steel cooled inside the shell by liquid nitrogen. The outer shell is the best ceramic tile similar to what crafts use for space exploration. Pure air is delivered via a umbilical tube of flexible steel cooled in the same fashion. The inside of the capsule is "cooled" to a low of 110 degrees, hot by world standards, but "cooled" by the metrics of hell.
As I was lowered onto a platform erected by principalities of Sheol, there was a hard thump. Satan, standing there with his hateful grimace, shouted epitaphs to be admired even by Hillary. He cursed me as I arrived. "Damn you O'Really!" he cursed, "Where in hell do you think you're going?" Because this is a family program my technicians bleeped out the most vile obscenities, mostly F-words and GD vanities which have become so common now in the world. While most would not be offended by the devil's lexicon, a few good Christians still would be!
Usually I would present the word of the day at the end of the program, but today it will be early. That word is "abomination". When communicating with Factor This do not say words that are an ABOMINATION to God. They may not be disgusting to the devil and his viceroys, but they may still be disgusting to people who seek holiness.
As I lurched forward with the sudden thump and hit the platform, my head banged a little on the capsule wall. "S_n of a B___ch" I spewed forth without thinking. The devil said "So you have met my mother! Haw Haw Haw!" he bellowed at his own attempt at humor. "You wanna see that heretic Mohammed I hear?" asked Satan, knowing full well that's what this Interview from Hell is all about! He went on to snicker "And you expect 'Non-Spin' from the kingdom devoted to lies? Haw Haw Haw!" he laughed. His humor was as bad as his sulfuric stench!
Satan said one word and Mohammad was brought forth in chains by what looked like bats with horns. The odor became horrendous outside the capsule, but Mr. O'Really's air was carbon filtered. It seemed to him that the rotten smell of sin still penetrated this impervious capsule!
Mohammad let out a curse saying "Off with your head infidel! 'allah 'Akbar!'" Satan cut in quickly, "He means Satan is Great, because I was his god! He hates me now! Haw Haw Haw!" Even the other demons looked sick enough to puke at this angel's disgusting demeanor.
Finally, I, Bill O'Really was able to settle Mohammad down to speak, although he kept cursing at me and demanded my infidel head as his trophy. It seemed that Salome must have been his concubine for rolling heads is what he always demands!
O'Really: How are you today Mohammad?
Mohammad: Deceived! That damn serpent did it to me too! I would say "excuse my language", but this is the language of hate in Hell. That's tame because your sponsors insisted. I will speak with more civility for them.
O'Really; Thank you for that, but we're no longer shocked by you people. What you say comes from the mouth of babes now. There is nothing holy in the world! Did you really get a message from God?
Mohammad: I thought I did, but the devil tricked me too. I thought it was Allah who was speaking, but it was a deceitful lying devil. I made up a religion that pleased him. He wanted to use it to demean God, minimize Jesus and destroy the kingdom of God.
O'Really: You mean that you believe in the real God?
Mohammad: Now I do! Allah is the voice of Satan. Even the demons here believe in God and they fear him, but don't love him. Satan makes them hate just as I made my disciples hate even people of the book. Hate is always from Satan. Killing his hate. Hate is what Islam is all about! I want to return to speak the truth to those who I misled, but Moses and the prophets could not even do that now!
O"Really: Do you worship here in hell?
Mohammad: Yes! Five times a day we are required to face the fiery furnace to the east and praise Satan on our knees and kiss the ground in front of him. It's what we have to do to ease the pain which Satan will provide. If we fail to obey, Satan will decapitate us and since this is eternal death our special bodies will endure decapitation time and time again. We hate the pain, but pain is all that is here.
O'Really: Where are the 72 virgins? Were they just a false promise?
Mohammad: You bet your Alladins Lamp. There are no virgins, just worn out venereal hagues. They smell of camel dung and laugh at me calling me a "false prophet"!
O'Really: That's the truth isn't it? You being a false prophet?
Mohammad: Yeah! I always knew that, but I told my stupid people that I was a true and major prophet. They'll believe anything just so I give them power. They love booze and whores and as long as they do it in secret, I didn't care. Myself, I was a pedophile. I had underage wives. Wrong can become right if it's presented that way enough times.
O'Really: I understand that your people hate homosexuals. Is that true?
Mohammad: We say that we do to deceive, but in secret we love them. Just as we call the west infidels, we do the same. Allah doesn't care as long as it's in secret.
O"Really: Well, it's getting really hot in my capsule. I wish that I could invite you in. My thermocouple has melted, It must be in excess of 150 degrees now.
Mohammad: I wish that I could enjoy that comfort with you for even a minute!
O'Really: Mohammad... just between us guys, would you deceive your people if given a second chance?
Mohammad: I'd trade my soul to do it over again. I might even turn tio Jesus if it would save me from this hell!
O'Really: Christians say that believing in Jesus, that he was crucified and resurrected will save people from hell. Do you believe that?
Mohammad: I wish I had! Tell my deceived followers about Jesus. Tell them not to listen to my Imams. They are antichrists. I know. I made them that!
O'Really: Gotta go now. Getting hot as hell in here!
Mohammad: I hope that you never know that.
O'Really: Beam me up, FAX. Good-bye Mohammad. Oops! I wasted a "good" because there is no good in hell. Well, then persevere... forever, Mohammad. I wish it would end, but it will never! Audience, thank you for your viewing! FAX News appreaciates that you accompanied me in the Un- Spin Zone. Stay tune for My-gain Philly for Spanking News. Be careful not to lust or you may be with Mohammad sooner than you think. At the top of the book list, thanks to my Interview From Hell is Killing Mohammad subtitled I Wish I Were Dead!
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