On Friendships

KEY VERSES: ...The soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul…  Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. (1Sam 18:1,3).

  “Soul” in this case, is transliterated from the Hebrew word nephesh. That same word is interpreted various ways throughout scripture such as: soul, life, person, mind, heart, body, and so forth.  It directly means “with all his living creature, or vitality” (Strong’s Dictionary). Where else has that been written?

And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself. (Luke 10:27)

  What is “vitality?” It is all the enduring power of a highly developed physical and mental vigor of a person (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). In other words, it is with all the strength of a living creature. Therefore “soul” used in the context of David and Jonathan was life, person, mind, heart, and body. It seems that all those ways of loving encompass what Luke wrote.
  “Knit” applied to David and Jonathan, and was uniting or binding together in a covenant. “Holy matrimony” is meant to endure forever, and it is written, “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Mat 19:6). Man and wife are knit together just as David and Jonathan were. Of course, they were not married, but their friendship was much like the friendship within matrimony. That type of knitting together should be called Holy Friendship. Like the marriage covenant, David and Jonathan established a covenant of friendship. Like marriage, they were to even endure forever, Jonathan even placing David above his parent, King Saul.
  The covenant was a triangulation: Jonathan, David, and God. Their friendship was more than person to person, but knit together under God. They were covenanted together: They were pledged to love God (Commandments 1-4) and each other (Commandments 5-10). As I have written before, those “commands” not commands at all, but precepts, but more appropriately “prescriptions.” Why would there need be prescriptions? To heal hateful hearts. They are the prescriptions, items of the covenant, to turn degenerate hearts into loving hearts, and through “Doctor” God who came to heal the nations (Psalm 67:2; Rev 22:2)!
  Jonathan and David loved each other as Christians are to love one another. They are to love each other as they love themselves, and God more than themselves. Jonathan and David – a man after God’s own heart – lifted up God and diminished themselves by their mutual love. That was the Greatest and Second Greatest Commandment of which Jesus spoke! Their covenant was a picture of The Greatest Commandment and the one like unto it, as well as the Abrahamic and Mosaic Covenants, with the “Ten Words” or “Ten Prescriptions” being the terms of the contract. Contracture terms often have implied terms of fact, law, and custom.
  Implied Fact: People are capable of loving (Mat 22:39), although they are inclined to hate (Mat 6:24).
  Implied Law: There are punishments for infractions of the law (Job 19:29).
  Implied Custom: God always loves us (John 3:16) the way we should love Him (Mat 22:37).
  Thus, covenants have “capability” implied, although ease of complying is not implied. In fact, loving as God loves, is extremely hard work! Covenants do not have easy terms or a contract would not be needed! For instance, I must be very difficult to love because of few friendships. However, the friendships that I do have are much like Jonathan’s and David’s.
Some quit befriending when things get tough. When David lusted and sinned, Jonathan still loved David. That is Godly love and tough love. Friends don’t forget that, “All have sinned and come short of the glory of God” (Rom 3:23). Some who claim friendship easily forget that they too have sinned, and neither do they deserve to be loved. God forgets when we unfriend Him, as long as we are contrite. Christians seem to never forget sin, and such behavior exposes their lack of friendship.
Sure, Christians abridge friendships often but they can be reconciled, and must be for true Christians:   “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye” (Col 3:13). Christian brothers and sisters should not need to reconcile because there should be no infringement on the contract which requires reconciliation.
There was a quote in a movie: “Love is never having to say you’re sorry.” I once took issue with that but now it is clearer. Love is not hurting others in the first place to require being sorry. That applies to God and others. Can it be done? Jesus did it! He never had to say that he was sorry! Of course, we will offend both God and friend, but we don’t have to do that!
  Another quote is, “I will forgive, but I’ll never forget!” Re-read Colossians 3:13 above. It says, “Forgive one another… even as Christ forgave you!” What if Christ forgave but never forgot? Would he had even forgiven if the held it against you? Forgiveness includes forgetting; just as God blots your sin from His mind, we are to blot others sins from our minds.  Some Christians even hate without a cause. Some people violate covenants without a reason, just because they can. That is human nature that is implied in the covenant. Christians with new natures must not be that way!
I have had Christian brothers “unfriend” me on Facebook merely because we had different opinions. I have had loved ones unfriend me because they didn’t like me quoting scripture of which they disagreed. I have had others unfriend me because of presumed sin.
  Let’s look at “presumed sin” for a moment: Party one assumes that party two abridged their space, and presumed they were guilty of an infraction affecting their friendship. As can be seen, there is an assumption and then presumption. That was the sin against Christ; the religious leaders assumed that Jesus was not God, and presumed him guilty of claiming to be so. He was really God, and as they say, “assume makes an ass of u and me.” Well, Jesus rode his ass to his death, but the real asses were assuming and presuming religious leaders. That type of unfriending is still at work today. Friends don’t assume nor do they judge with a different metric than they would have done to themselves (Mat 7:2).
  Friendship is an enduring covenant, not to be broken when even the terms are. Friendship means forever regardless of violation of the terms. That was the type of friendship that Jonathan and David had. They were knit together as one, each loving the other as each loved themselves, and God more than either of them loved themselves or each other!