HARD BUT HONORABLE LOVE

  Sons and daughters often get angry with their siblings and parents. We all know those who have, and have done so ourselves.  The perception is often that parents or siblings do not care much about the sons, daughters, or other family members.  
  “Perceptions” are abstract mental pictures which are not founded on actual events. Now if the truth was known, parents have things of which to be ashamed that are actual events where anger is due.  It seems paradoxical that often blame is for something not done. Everyone deserves responsibility for their actions, and to suffer the consequences.
  The parent may feel abandoned. He (or she) knows that he is not wrong in this instance, and knows no one else is either. Most anger is a result of two things: (1) misunderstanding the motives of others, or (2) feeling under attack by others. Both reactions are based on perceptions. Anger because of misperceptions are called “presumptuous sins.” Jesus was killed by an angry mob because they presumed that he had sinned. He was accused of claiming that He is God, and that was disrespectful to the Father in Heaven.

Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression. (Psalm19:30).

  “Presumptuous sins” are those which take liberties with the facts. The sinner “presumes” wrong on the part of another. In other words, it’s anger which is not fact-based and that makes it irrational! “Anger” is an irrational response to a reasonable action of another. The angry person feels as if he or she is under attack even when that’s not the case.
  The presumptuous sin of the angry Jewish mob was unknowingly killing their own Father in Heaven. Of course, God did not die, but He experienced death on the Cross with His Flesh. Right before Jesus died because of presumptuous sin, he was in agony for God’s children. Jesus wept on behalf of the Father for rebellious and unloving children who had dishonored Him.
  The Father was on the Holy Cross as well - still loving his many sons and daughters, even as his firstborn Son died on the Cross. Presumptuous sin killed the Father’s Spirit:

If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear. And if a man have committed a sin worthy of death, and he be to be put to death, and thou hang him on a tree. (Deut 21:18-22)

  Note that Jesus did none of those things but he was accused of them all! Those false accusations – irrational thoughts – killed Jesus, but God in three “substances” was on that Cross. Angry people struck at God through the flesh of His Son. Those accusations, since Jesus Is God, were against the Father. Jesus’s flesh bore the pain of his Father.
  The Father should have been angry at the angry irrational mob, but he wasn’t. “For the Father so loved all His children, that He gave His own Flesh, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish.” (John 3:16 rephrased). That’s how much God loves His children even though they were angry and hung him on a “tree” to die for presumed sins!  That’s also how much Christian fathers love their sons and daughters!
  Christian fathers, when faced with angry rebellious children, still love them so! However, Christian fathers agonize at their alien thinking. Even when they believe the one who loves them so much is a jerk, the “Jerk” still loves them with all his heart, mind, soul, and strength!
  Why should children respect their parents? Because most parents love them intensely! Good parenting is tolerating the childhood insolence, rebelliousness, and apathy which most children have, and still maintain their intense love!
  Look at God’s notion of parental respect: “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Exod 20:12). There are no ifs, ands, or buts. Honoring parents is expected behavior for entering into Heaven. The promise therein is eternal life in the heavenly promised land.
  Why did the angry mob hang Jesus on the Holy Tree and murder him? They presumed that He was a liar; that he was really not the Father. The angry mob dishonored their spiritual Father, and where are they now? There is no record that any repented, and if that’s the case, they are spiritually dead and in torment this moment.
  Unresolved anger not only will cause spiritual death in the end, but angry people are not having a full-life when alive. Anger is living in a self-created Hell. The mind torments angry people by making them feel justified with their anger but missing out on contentment and brotherly, fatherly, and motherly love.  Angry people are not joyful, and can only be content for the moment.
  No one is immune to anger! Recently, I argued with a confessed communist and atheist. I thought I had won the discussion because the man was quite angry and called me names. I had a right to be angry, and I became angry! However,  I lost the case because as a godly man, I should have been long-suffering, kind, and compassionate. I was not! Because I became angry, that ungodly man “won” the argument (Actually we both lost it because the sinner and the saint responded the same way. God could not distinguish the difference between the two of us.)
  When any Christian becomes angry for presumptuous notions, God cannot tell the difference between them and the sinners.
  For myself, two weeks have gone by, and I still feel bad with the anger I had. That lack of joy will be gone until I meet that man again and make amends. According to scripture, it does not matter who was right or wrong; a godly man has a responsibility to reconcile:

But I say unto you, that whosoever is angry with his brother (father, mother, or anyone) without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, “Raca” (no longer of value), shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, “Thou fool,” shall be in danger of hell fire. Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother (father, mother, brother, sister, or anyone), and then come and offer thy gift. (Mat 5:22-24)

  Note that it did not matter who did the wrong. Let alone presumed to do the wrong. Reconciliation is required to serve the Lord regardless of fault! Those who killed the Father’s Flesh, killed the Father’s Spirit. The Holy Spirit was on the “tree” as well, and when God’s Flesh died, Jesus “gave up the Ghost.” The Father agonized for His Son, and Christian father’s agonize for theirs when their sons or daughters are wrong!
  You are probably thinking, Well, Jesus did no wrong! That is right; he was presumed to be a sinner. The angry mob would not listen to reason. As Jews, the Father had told them in advance, that the Messiah would come and die for them. Jesus took on the sins of the world on their behalf. For a few hours, God sinned, not for the pleasure of it, but for the agony of his misled children.

Good fathers agonize for the wrongs of their children because they too, as God, love them so! Even right children are wrong if they cannot forgive and forget – be compassionate and kind to one another.
  Good Christian father’s think of the hereafter. Will his children be loving and forgiving, or will they go the way of the mob?
  Christian mothers do that as well. The commandment says to “honour your father and mother,” without any pre-conditions. It does not say, “honour if they are always perfect, don’t do wrong things, make poor decision, or get angry themselves;” it just says to “honour.”
  On behalf of mothers, I might add, they deserve a double-portion of understanding. They undergo so much agony at birth that they should be relieved of any more agony. The mother of my firstborn was in agonizing labor for 36 hours just to birth my son. That should have been enough, and she deserves honor!
  Any agony that I caused my mother, I still regret. Sometimes I cannot live with the thoughts of the mental abuse, even once, which I caused my wonderful imperfect mother. I wish that she was here so that I could tell of my love for her, but I cannot. However, those with living parents still have that opportunity!
  I dishonored my father one time. I still remember the time of my discontent. I regret that I ever did that to my hard-working father, but it can’t be undone. I would give anything to hear his gentle voice again!
  I was often ashamed of my Mom’s hillbilly accent. Sometimes, I wished that she would just be silent and save me embarrassment. Well, God did that for my selfish reasons; my Mom had a stroke and could not talk at all.  I got what I wanted, but now I merely want my Mom back, talking or not. I have regrets and so will you! I can’t altar my poor performance as a son, but you sons and daughters with living brothers, sisters, parents, friends, and even enemies can! You must for God to give you a long life in Heaven.
  Sometimes good parents must correct those they love. My own Dad did that and my Father in Heaven still does? Why? Because it hurts to see the love gone.