I have distinguished the difference many times between marriage and Holy Matrimony. [1] Briefly, marriage is of two types: civil and sectarian, legalized by a paper document or by a church ritual. Both are “civil” unions, and not holy because they are only between two persons. The Pope or bishop recognizes them both, but God does not! Why so? Because they are marriages without God. Ritual is no more than performing a ceremony in an orderly fashion. Those who marry in a church building do not make the marriage holy.
In Holy Matrimony, the Christians are the “building.’ Since
Christians are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 6:19), marriage between two
Christians is enlarging God’s Temple. (More on that shortly). Then, a family is
enlarging it more, the extended family even more, ad infinitum. When two
or more are joined together in the Name, Jesus, there is Church (Mat 8:20). As
such holy matrimony enlarges two personal Churches.
Hence, Holy Matrimony is the Church. Scripture calls the
Church, “the Bride of Christ,” and He is the Bridegroom. Whenever two
Christians come together in His Name, in Holy Matrimony, there is a silent
third Person there! The bride, the groom, and the Groom (Jesus) are one Body
joined together that no man should put asunder, to wit:
KEY VERSES: 3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, “Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?” 4 And he answered and said unto them, “Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,” 5 And said, “For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?” 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Mat 19:3-6)
While that is absorbed, consider again civil marriage. There are not three
persons involved. The official does not count because he is only a civil
official. Too much emphasis is put on a piece of paper and the authority of the
official. Man does not perform Holy Matrimony, but only civil ones. Hence most
marriages are civil unions, making it so easy to put asunder. Usually, it is a
third unholy person who puts those marriages asunder. Even Christians that have
merely “marriage” have great obstacles ahead. Of course, when they realize God
is necessary for completion, they can turn to God for Holy Matrimony.
Jewish marriages, in apostolic times, did not involve paper or ritual.
When two persons of different genders were betrothed, then God was accepted as
their “Counselor.” Just what does “betrothed” mean? Essentially it is as
marriage, but with neither cohabitation nor sexual intercourse. It is the
promise to love and cherish the woman in a manner suitable to God. It is the
“holy” part of Holy Matrimony. Coptic Christians still practice betrothal
before marriage.
With the holy part accomplished over time, the spiritual engagement
is over, and it is time for the physical “engagement.” The “Church” must be
enlarged if possible! God commanded that: “God blessed them, saying, “Be
fruitful, and multiply’” (Gen 3:22). Note that God did not say, “Be pleasured
and enjoy!” Marriage is intended to enlarge the Church and build a grander
Temple for God. Carnal pleasuring builds a “house” for Satan.
Jesus was asked about marriage. Obviously, it was to make Him stumble. He
referred the Pharisees to the creation, “Have ye not read, that he which
made them at the beginning made them male and female?” Then Jesus referred to
marriage in this way, “(He) shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be
one flesh?”
So just where to look for marriage in the beginning? In the
beginning! First, check right after the “beginning.” It is written, “Adam knew
Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, ‘I have gotten a man
from the Lord.’” They finally obeyed the command to multiply, but only after
they sinned. “Knew” in Holy Scripture is coitus — when a man and woman with
opposite “tools” engage in sexual intercourse. For those who have children, it
is when they intentionally “knew” each other for that purpose. There was both
carnal pleasure and spiritual pleasure, the latter only if they are Christians.
Remember the fruits of both trees, from the New Testament”:
19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, 20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, 21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. (Gal 5:19’21)
Therein, Paul referred to “times past.” He referenced others before, as well
as Adam and Eve. “Idolatry” was their genitalia, “variance” is the misuse of
them, “emulations” are contests to reach climaxes, “uncleanness” includes
emissions without the intent of procreation, “lasciviousness” is offensive intense sexual desires, and so forth. For
those reasons, many believe that sexual intercourse with no intention of
reproducing was among the sins of Adam and Eve.
They may have had coitus, but only for pleasure, with no intention of
obeying God’s command to multiply. That makes sense, given the input of James, that
breaking one commandment is as if breaking them all (Jas 2:10).
Why else would the guilty pair make aprons of fig leaves to cover their
shame? Why else would adultery be such a tremendous sin? Why else would the
flesh of all people be their greatest strongholds? Why would building obelisks
be so wrong, or “high places” in the Bible if not for the genitals of men and
women?
Now for the great surprise! In the key verses, it said, concerning Holy
matrimony; that “the two shall be one flesh.” Just when did Adam and Eve begin
marriage? Not with sex in the Garden or outside it when Adam “knew” Eve, but
the two were one, when they were one flesh. God created Adam, and a line was drawn in the
sand, so to speak. God IS, and Adam became. To triangulate
required a third person, and that was Eve. God was God, Adam was man, and Eve
was to be “wife-man” (“help meet” for completion). Eve soon committed adultery with Satan, not with “good” knowledge, but
with new carnal knowledge (evil).
Eve fornicated against God, and then Adam did as well. Adam could have
been as easily named, “Fornicator.” Then as only betrothed, they surely
fornicated with each other beneath the “tree of carnal knowledge” (evil).
There they learned about adultery, fornication, uncleanness,
lasciviousness, and Idolatry. Hence, Holy Matrimony did not entail carnal
knowledge, but only spiritual knowledge. For that reason, betrothal in
apostolic times was Holy Matrimony and sexual intercourse for reproduction, and
merely for obedience. Civil marriage is more about lust than love, but Holy Matrimony
is more about love of God and loving each other in like manner. As mentioned
previously, it is to build the Church.
Now back all the way to the beginning of marriage, of which Paul spoke.
20 For Adam there was not found an help meet for him. 21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made He a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Gen 2:20-24)
Adam and Eve’s “marriage” was then! Her creation was “Holy Matrimony” and
there was neither lust (carnal knowledge) nor sex involved. Neither were
genitalia a part of Holy Matrimony! Compare the unity of man and wife-man above
with the key verses. Matthew quoted
Genesis chapter two in the above. Holy Matrimony is as “one flesh.” “Cleaving”
is to be “fastened together as one.” Eve was fastened to Adam as she was created.
She did not come from his rib, but from his “curved side. “Rib” is implied, but
the “cleavage” was the “silver cord” that is loosed when people die (Ecc2:6).
Thus, Adam and Eve’s marriage was unification as if one until death when
the silver cord is loosed. Only with the “silver cord” loosed, can one remarry.
Adam “married” God when God breathed unto Adam, and Adam married
Eve when God breathed life unto Eve through Adam’s side. The “silver cord” went
from God to Adam to Eve and Holy Matrimony was introduced into Paradise. The
betrothal was between God, Man, and Wife-man, as “help-meet” implies. Adam and
Eve, if they indeed did pleasure under the tree, learned carnal knowledge and
their matrimony was loosed. No longer were they as one in spiritual unity
but in disunity. Satan tore their Holy Matrimony asunder.
Look how quickly Paradise changed
after carnal knowledge: Eve blamed the Serpent, Adam blamed Eve, and God was
left out when they made their own aprons. No longer were they united in Holy
Matrimony, but the silver cord was loosed and they each became as one individual,
and each became “as God” (Gen 3:5). Not only did they spiritually separate, but
they also separated themselves from God.
With the two asunder, they were cast out of the Garden where God resided,
but was not first in their lives. They
had something to remember God by, and that was the flesh of a lamb that God
divided and cloaked them with. He kept the two who had been one, as one, and safe
with His coat until Adam and Eve would be betrothed again. But that would not be
as husband and wife who carnally know each other, but as brother and sister (Mat
22:30). In other words, they will be betrothed, but not carnal.
Now back to apostolic times: “betrothal” had great significance. Paul
wrote, “The time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as
though they had none” (1 Cor 7:29), meaning to put pleasure aside and be holy
as God is Holy. Rather than betrothal to Wife-man alone, the focus must be on God alone, as if not married.
“Betrothal” infers commitment. Civil unions are noncommital, but to have civilized
sex with one mate. Holy Matrimony a “triangulation” between God, woman, and
man. Of course, fornication is also triangulation — between Satan, woman, and
man. The opposite of betrothal is “disunion.” With carnal knowledge, the
union of man and woman was loosened. Rather than betrothal with unity, it was
disunion with chaos. The blame game started and continues to this day. Holy
Matrimony is putting away the blame game, and a tightening of the silver cord
between man, woman, and God.
Marriage, to this day, fails so often because God is left out of the home,
and it becomes merely two individuals cohabitating. Jesus had something to say
about that as well:
17 The woman (at the well) answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said unto her, “Thou hast well said, I have no husband: 18 For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly” (John 4:17-18)
Just what did Jesus mean by that? Perhaps the woman had been betrothed
five times as was the custom; that she had had abstinence to make her marriages
seem holy before coitus. However, with the man with whom she lived,
there had been no betrothal at all. Her “marriage” was “unholy matrimony” which
is the case for most to this day.
With that truth, the woman knew that Jesus was a “Prophet.” She was
certainly religious and had knowledge of good as well as carnal knowledge. Then
Jesus gave her “living water’ from His side, and there was a silver cord made
taut between Him and her. She was at one with Jesus and became His “bride.” She
was “born again” much in the same manner as Eve “drank” the “Living Water”
(Holy Spirit) from Adam.
All the other “husbands” were of no consequence because He made the
“harlot” unto a “saint” with His Word. Jesus covered her carnal flesh with His
Holy Spirit. She became the “bride” of Jesus. She joined Christ in a type of
“Holy Matrimony.”
So, marriage is more than coitus and a family; it is commitment to each
other and to Jesus. Without Jesus in the triangle the marriage is not
Holy.
Why so many divorces among Christians? Because Holy Matrimony is revealed
only as a marriage for pleasure. There is a time for everything, but Holy
Matrimony is unity with God by two people. It is not conjugal visitation, but glorious
visualization.
The holiest of marriages was Joseph and Mary. They were betrothed but had
not “known” each other. Mary had spiritual oneness with God and provided Mary a
Son. Thereafter, it was God, Mary, and Joseph. Just as Jesus was borne of God,
He was born of Mary, in the most sacred marriage of all time. Because they had
no coitus theretofore, Joseph’s and Mary’s betrothal was the Most Holy Matrimony.
Joseph experienced Mary through Jesus, and the three became one.
Joseph and Mary were unmarried, but were holy in their betrothal.
[2]
For an explanation of wife-man, see the author;s blog at Herrin Daily
Thoughts: DEJAVU (kentuckyherrin.blogspot.com).
(picture credit: YouTube; "Joseph and Mary")
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