Forgiving Oneself

     Forgiveness is the act of dismissing any resentment toward the ones who have offended. In theology the offense is sin. The One offended by sin is God. Absolutely, the sinner is not offended by his own sin. He is convicted. Conviction is convinced of the wrong in sinning. That is part way there because most sinners know it's wrong but go on sinning.
    Forgiveness cannot be obtained until the law-breaker feels guilty. That sense of guiltiness is remorse. The law-breaker must have emotions of regret for sinning, not shame that he was convicted or found guilty and reprimanded for it!
     Who can forgive others? God can and you can. Whose forgiveness is sacramental? Only God's is. Yours and my forgiveness are expressions of love and empathy. Love is a command (Lev 19:8); empathy is feeling the pain of others.
     How we are to love others is as ourselves. That is empathetic. Our own desire to feel acceptance is how we are to accept others. No man can hate himself (Ephes 5:29) yet love others. Our reference for degree of love is our love of ourselves. People who hate others seemingly hate themselves because they can't feel their own pain, not sensing the pain of others. Hatred is murderous (1 John 3:15) which means love is life-giving. Forgiveness is an act of love and gives a breath of love to the loved!
     Some say, "Before God forgives you, you must forgive yourself." In a movie last evening, one young person even neglected to mention God. He merely said, "You must forgive yourself!" You can forgive yourself all that you want but it can never be efficacious for salvation. Forgiving oneself is a delusion because although sinners have the power to forgive others, they have no power to forgive themselves. If they attempt to forgive anyone with their own authority it is heresy. If they endeavor to forgive themselves it is idolatry! Why so? Only God's grace is effective toward salvation, and yours is damning.

Ephes 1:7 (God through His presence as Jesus) In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace...

     Redemption is the payment by which sins are forgiven. Only the blood of God made acceptable payment for our sins. There is nothing that mankind can do to redeem oneself. In fact, recognizing that we can't redeem ourselves because we are not God is the first half of rebirth. The crowning moment of being born-again is that only God can redeem (John 3).  Furthermore, redemption is forgiveness of sins. To imply that you or I have the power to forgive ourselves dismisses the effectiveness of Jesus's blood and death. The taking of God's Name - Jesus - frivolously is the unpardonable sin (Exod 20:7), and is blaspheming Jesus's Holy Ghost (Luke 12:10). Therein it is said, "whosoever shall not be forgiven". It doesn't even imply that you can forgive yourself, or that your forgiveness of yourself must precede God's.
     If anyone believes they have any part in their own forgiveness other than remorse, then perhaps those people have not been born-again. Jesus himself said, Ye must be born again. (John 3:7). How is that done? Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God." (John 3:5). We find from verse 14 that the Son of man be lifted up. 
     "Born-again" entails lifting up Jesus at the expense of ourselves. As we find in the incident with Moses which Jesus acknowledged, those who lift themselves up die viperous deaths!

Numbers 21:8-9 And the Lord said unto Moses, Make thee a fiery serpent, and set it upon a pole: and it shall come to pass, that every one that is bitten, when he looketh upon it, shall live. And Moses made a serpent of brass, and put it upon a pole, and it came to pass, that if a serpent had bitten any man, when he beheld the serpent of brass, he lived. 

     Jesus's point is that those who are born-again quit trying to save themselves from the serpent and look to Jesus for salvation. Forgiving oneself is akin to saving themselves from the fiery serpents (Num 21:6) which caused them to die. You have no part in saving yourself. Forgiving yourself is not only sanctimonious but foolishness and idolatry. Only Jesus can forgive your sins to provide life. You are the person who sins and are incapable of forgiving yourself.